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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915278">Let's Drink to Rebellion</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/piratesandthieves/pseuds/piratesandthieves'>piratesandthieves</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, District 10, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Like really slow, Lore Building for District 10, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:07:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>47,180</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/piratesandthieves/pseuds/piratesandthieves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are you going to help us or not?" Horne asks quietly. I'm slightly taken aback and stop walking.</p>
<p>"I always try to help my tributes," I reply.</p>
<p>"Then why are you always drunk? Or always breaking down?" Rhyme spits out at me.</p>
<p>"Do you think if you win the games you are ever the same? It's better than death but it changes you. There are no winners only survivors," I parrot what Haymitch told me years ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This is basically a love letter to how Haymitch is one of my favorite characters in fiction. I posted part of this a while ago but I suck at uploading chapters so I'm just posting the entire first book.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Haymitch Abernathy/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Let's Drink to Rebellion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is long and I know it but I am physically incapable of posting things in a chapter and keeping any semblance of a schedule. </p>
<p>That being said this is one of my biggest labors of love that I made a long time ago and I would appreciate comments so much! Thanks for taking the time to read it. :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I think my leg is gone. The blood is all over me and I can hardly breathe. It's too hot and everything smells and taste like hot metal. The bodies in front of me become engrained into my mind just like everything else that has happened. I stare into the camera for a second before collapsing to the ground.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Come on Red you have to be on stage," someone said coaxing me towards the stage but I'm having trouble remembering how to walk. Right leg. Left leg. Right leg. Left leg. It was easier when it wasn't just me. I can't stand being alone anymore. Guaranteed there was technically another victor for our district, Buck, but his games had screwed him up so badly that he mostly sat around looking blankly in the distance. It gives me too much time to think when I am alone.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I stumble onto the stage. <em>Not my fault it's the prosthetic</em> I think but keep my mouth closed. The mayor greets me as well as the escort I've had the past few years, Atlas. This year Atlas has midnight blue hair and a black and midnight blue suit which I actually approve of for once. Atlas is surprisingly good looking for someone from the Capitol. He has a strong jawline and tan skin to match dark eyes. Atlas and I are good friends which is more than I feel about everyone else from the capital. I manage something that could almost be a smile to Atlas. <em>The reaping is too hard for a smile</em>.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The mayor begins talking about the history of Panem and I zone out. It's the same thing every year and it never justifies the game I think to myself. The mayor has finished and Atlas goes up to start drawing names and I can feel panic coming.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Happy Hunger Games!! And may the odds be ever in your favor!!" Atlas yells and I can feel myself crumpling and out of the corner of my eye I can see the men waiting to take me away once I break down.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ladies first!!!" Atlas yells and I can feel myself breaking apart.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Atlas says "Red Odinsteed." I hear it over and over again. I can see the people of district 10 staring at me as I break apart. I feel blood on me but I know it's not real, Peacekeepers rush the stage and walk me off trying to get me away before I run for it. I manage to kick one of them off and I run.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I make it out to the fields full of cattle. The sound of my own breath trying to keep me on my feet is enough to scare me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's not real. It's not real. Itsnotreal. Itsnotrealitsnotreal," I whisper to myself.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But it all seems too real. It always seems too real. The only thing I care about right now is the fence behind me and the grass beneath me. I'm still crying I realize and quickly wipe away my tears. The 74th Hunger Games started the same as the last 15.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p4">
  <span class="s1">——————</span>
</p>
<p class="p5"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My brother and I have our name in the games more times than I would ever want. I love my parents but I couldn't understand how anyone could have kids when they know there is a chance they could die in the games. My brother and I walk towards the square together.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Don't worry we won't get chosen," I say to Con, my brother, but my voice sounds like a lie to me. He doesn't reply but flashes me a 'be quiet you're not helping' look.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The large yard where the reaping is held is filling quickly. Con makes sure I am registered before registering himself. Today I wears my best and only dress and have my uncharacteristic of 10 red hair tied back with ribbon. My pale skin is bold against the dresses blue material and the collar is flipped wrong. Con fixes my dress before being split apart as he goes to the front with the 18 year olds and I stand by the front with the sixteen year olds.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Today dust is thick in the air and the people walking amongst the dirt doesn't help it stay down. A women with four twirls of thick bright yellow hair is this years escort. Her dress looks similar to cow manure I think. The mayor is starting on the history of Panem and I can't possibly listen I'm on such high levels of anxiety. I can see Tam our districts only victor sitting quietly in a chair. He sits expressionless an unreadable glaze over him. Nothing new.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Happy 59th Hunger Games!! And may the odds be ever in your favor!!" The yellow haired women yells excitement in her voice. At that moment I can feel everyone around me's hate for her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ladies first!!" I hold my breath. I hope it isn't me. I pray its anyone other than me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red Odinsteed!!"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can hear my mom's screams.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I try to catch my breath.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I look for her and I see her trying to get to me but my dad holds her back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Someone beside me points to me and I feel everyone slowly turning towards me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's a moment of panic where I don't know what to do.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What will happen to me now?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I take a deep breath to steady myself before turning and walking towards the front pushing away the Peacekeeper that dared to touch me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And now my own mothers cries are quiet as someone silences her. Other than them the crowd is silent. District ten doesn't win. That's just how it is. Nothing is different today. I find myself on stage looking angrily into the distance. I am pissed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red! And your hair is red how strange!!" The yellow women says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Must be a coincidence," I hiss and the venom laces my voice. I stare into the cameras and try to play off how scared I am with how angry I am.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Well congratulations Red!! Now to the gentlemen!!" The women yells and I pray it isn't my brother. Anyone but Con. Con was my best friend and more important he needed to be here for everyone if I wasn't.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yohan Perthshire!!" I breathe a sigh of relief Con will be okay. Con will take care of everything.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A guy I recognize comes over to the stage he holds a look revealing nothing. I think I've seen him at my neighbor's house. I had a neighbor named Nox, he was a smart kid who got into trouble more often than was healthy. This year was Nox's last year as a possible victim so he would be okay now. I had seen Yohan hanging with Nox before.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yohan has walked onto the stage. He has to be around 18. He's handsome in a sort of brooding way. He shares the look of most of the people in 10, Tanned skin and dark hair. Yet he has high cheek bones and hasn't reacted to the fact he was chosen so he will do good in the games I think. I stick out like a sore thumb with red hair and pink skin but I also have remained strong and not cried.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Congratulations to this years tributes!!" The women says. She urges us to shake hands and we awkwardly shake hands. But after the handshake Yohan and I keep our hands together, maybe out of pure fear or maybe out of rebellion. Probably fear because I can see how white our hands are turning from holding on to tight. We stand on stage with our hands held together as the mayor went over the Treaty of Treason. Then we were pulled away from the crowds to see our friends and family one last time.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I stepped out of my bedroom on the train to get some dinner. I could hear Atlas talking to the tributes and I braced myself for a second before walking into the car.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Happy 74th annual Hunger Games!!" I said with a capital accent. Atlas rolled his eyes at me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're late to dinner," Atlas said.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm late to everything. What are you two's names?" I ask as I slide into the open wooden chair.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"If you could stay through one ceremony maybe you would know," the girl growled. She was probably 17 or so. She had black hair and burnt skin. The consequence of staying outside too long in district 10.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Horne Duncan," the boy said not even bothering to argue. He was large probably 18. However his foot which looked as though it had been crushed. He had amber eyes and a strong jawline. At least they weren't super young this year, it's better when they're older.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm sorry I wasn't at the reaping. The reaping and I don't get along. The good news is that you'll have one mentor this year," I stated simply, Buck wouldn't be coming again this year which wasn't surprising. Then I shook Horne's hand. The girl seemed to study me for a minute before saying "Rhyme Fairbain."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Lovely. Now dig in this is more food than you've ever had," and probably ever will I thought. Atlas turned on the tv so we could watch the other reapings. I avoid the food because at the moment my stomach was ready to throw out everything I put in it. Atlas watched with his dark eyes. He leaned towards me and whispered so only I could hear.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You should eat more." I rolled my eyes and grabbed a bottle of juice. I gulped the whole thing as I watched the tributes eat. Atlas seemed disappointed with me now but was watching the reapings. The kids were making comments.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The guy from two you'll need to watch more then the other careers. The girl from five seems sly. But watch the careers they kill easily." I said. Rhyme seemed to be paying attention only to the food but Horne was watching.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We reached district 10 and I turned up the volume. First was my great escape broadcasted across to every district. I quickly got up to find some alcohol. Alcohol always cleared my mind or it made me forget; it was a win-win. I watched myself kick the peacekeeper and released a small smile, Snow would hate that. The commenters tried to get a laugh off of it. Then I was off the stage. Next the kids names were called. Rhyme had cried but Horne's face was stone not betraying a single thought. He reminded me of Yohan and I took a drink to clear that thought.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Next was 11 which held one of my two best friends. Chaff didn't make a fool of himself the way I had. Chaff did look thoroughly drunk though. A girl of twelve was called for his district and I cursed but Atlas squeezed my hand to calm me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My mind jumps for a moment.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's a girl- young probably around 12- eating with me. She has tan skin and black hair braided down behind her. She is wearing a blue dress with lace sleeves and I can tell it's her Sunday best. She has a gap in her front two teeth and she smiles like the world is perfect. She asks me about the games and I watch as it rips the innocence right off her. Slowly I see the blood seep out of her and watch her turn into nothing more than a shell of the smile.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My mind switched back to reality. I was still with Horne and Rhyme and Atlas. The girl I had seen was dead- killed in the games by a career with a pretty face and an ugly spear. It was years ago of course but I swear I had just seen it again. I relaxed again and moved towards Atlas. Atlas wrapped an arm around me. I turned back to the reaping and watched a tall, strong, and dark guy- not unlike my friend Chaff.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Watch him," I managed to rasp out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Atlas whispers to me so low I can hardly hear him. "Did you just leave me for a second there?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah the little girl made me think of someone." I mumble back quietly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You should see a doctor about these hallucination. Sometimes you act out violently from them. What if you hurt someone?" He asks me. I glance at the kids but they're watching the commentary of the two announcers fully.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I won't hurt anyone. A lot of victors have them it's normal. Plus where would I go? I'm not from the Capitol I can't just get some fancy doctor to prescribe me medicine 10 will never have."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm just saying it's not normal even if other victors have them. You should get help." Atlas sighs so loud that the two tributes look over at us. I motion for them to keep watching the reel.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We can talk about this another time," I whisper to Atlas and Atlas looks annoyed but nods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then came 12. I watched Haymitch hug Effie and laughed out loud.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What an old drunk," Rhyme spit.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"If you win the games you can mock him. But you haven't yet so leave it," I defended. Atlas rolled his eyes. Atlas didn't dislike Haymitch but didn't love him either. Atlas was also 100% certain Haymitch and I were in love.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Someone volunteers. Something that never happens in the far districts. I hadn't even volunteered. I see the small girl she volunteered for and know it must be her sister.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It brings memories of my own brother. He had been dead for years along with the rest of my family. Their memories still haunted my life. And then as if Haymitch knew I needed cheering up, he stumbles across the stage.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Look at her. Look at this one!" Haymitch hollers, throwing an arm around the girls shoulders. "I like her! Lots of. " He waits for a second to think of a word. "Spunk!" he says triumphantly. "More than you!" he releases her and starts for the front of the stage. "More than you!" he shouts, pointing directly into a camera. Then he fell off the stage. Both of my tributes laugh at him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I manage a small smile. I was happy that Haymitch would stand up to the capital and that I'm not the only one who fucked up their reaping. But I'm also scared that Haymitch will go to far and might get killed. That concludes the reapings.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Alright off to bed kids no matter what you do don't think too hard and get as much sleep as possible," I state to them. I start walking too my room leaving them to do what they want.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite telling them not to think too hard I sit in bed all night thinking. I eventually take my camera out and wander around taking photos. Then I'm back in the bed trying to sleep again. Eventually I give up and start working out. By then its morning and I'm off to breakfast.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everything about seeing my friends before I die is terrible and it feels more like I'm dreaming than anything else.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My mother rushes in first holding me tight and saying how sorry she is and how much he loves me. She promises she will watch every night.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My father is next and he also hugs me and whispers things meant to reassure me. But they don't work.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Only my brother reaches my thoughts. We'd always has the ability to reach each other though. Con looks at me before saying "You can win this you know. You're fast and you're smart and you're ready to fight. Don't give up. Show them that district ten hasn't given up."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They are taken away and my two best friends come in. Alexa has dark brown hair and lightly tanned skin. Nox has come too. He has the districts dark eyes and tan skin. They're both hugging me and launching advise at me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You have to get sponsors."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Listen to Tam."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The cornucopia is the way to go."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The cornucopia is not the way to go."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There are so many conflicting statements that I can't even understand what they're saying. So I lean forward and hug them both.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'll do my best to win this." I state and they seem to be happy enough with this statement. Alexa cries for a minute and I hug them both before they too had gone away. I am pulled out to a car that they will drive to the train station. Yohan and I are amazed by the inside of the car. We all rode in the back of truck beds to work but we've never been inside a real car. I'm happy to see neither of us have cried yet and hope that maybe we will look strong enough for sponsors.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then we are pushed away from the crowds of people who came to see us off and onto the train. I've never been on a train before only seen them from a far. I look over at Yohan who has what I can assume is the same look on my face. Completely amazed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On the train I have the most amazing dinner I've ever eaten. There are soups and things called olives and bread and all kind of meats and sweets and soups and cookies and weird drinks and I'm overwhelmed by all the choices. It's all so rich and fresh and exotic and unlike the food we have in district 10. I stuff myself so full I'm sure I'll be sick.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A tall man with long dark hair braided down his back and an angular tanned face joins us at the table halfway through the dinner. He stops the rant of our escort, whose name I've already forgotten.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm Tam," Tam states as he sits by us. Tam looks ancient. Tam had won the sixth hunger games at age 18. He was one of the only victors we had ever had (the other being Buck who was not 100% there at this point) and seemed like he would stick around until we had another.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We know. Everyone in district 10 knows you," Yohan says. I nod in agreement. Tam seems saddened by this.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Do you think you can win this?" Tam asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yes," I say and my answer is immediate and determined.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yes," Yohan answers a half second later.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You two sound determined for once. You have any skills?" Tam asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I can fight with a knife or maybe a sword I think. I have handled a cleaver for years," Yohan says. I believe it. Yohan looks strong and if he wasn't from my district he would immediately be an enemy. Even being from my district I don't trust him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm fast. I ran messages and I learn quickly," I state. Tam thinks this over for a second.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tam nods and then makes us watch the other districts reaping. I feel sick and incredibly alone but I don't move towards Yohan or Tam. There's oceans between the three of us. Then it's off to bed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I walk with Yohan to our bedrooms which are directly opposite each other. We stand in the hallway for a second searching for something to say to each other.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It'll be okay. We both just have to try our best," Yohan says. I nod and say a goodnight which he repeats then we both go to our own room. I crash into my bed. It's so soft I feel like I'm being swallowed alive. I don't sleep much that night.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p6"> </p>
<p class="p6"> </p>
<p class="p6"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Morning," I manage as I walk into breakfast. So far it's only Atlas and I. I can see Atlas looking me over. I know I look like shit but I feel like shit so at least I match.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Did you sleep last night?" Atlas asks. I shake my head and sit down at the table.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Did you wake up the kids?" I ask. Atlas nods. We begin breakfast in silence. I eat a slice of bacon before pouring some juice. I splash a little vodka in for the Capitol.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tributes walk in and quickly start piling their plates.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Try some of this. It's called Hot chocolate," I say and the kids listen suprisingly. They drink the entire pot of it and eat more food then they probably ever had in their life.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We're here!!" Atlas says his voice becoming more of a capital accent as we approach. The kids dash to the window and look out across the city. I remain in my seat. I do not enjoy the Capitol but the Capitol enjoys me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Okay quick tips. Let the stylist do whatever they want their job is to make you look good. They may be terrible at the job in your eyes but the Capitol eats it up," I tell them. They nod at this information.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What about the arena? What should we do in there?" Rhyme asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'll tell you about that later. Come on you have to meet your stylist." I guide them to the door where their stylist wait. I send them off with the stylist then wave goodbye to Atlas as I head to the annual mentor meeting.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The annual meeting is held in the training center every year. Every year they go over procedure and your job as a mentor. For once I'm excited I'll get to see Haymitch and Chaff, who are at this point my best friends. My other friends too; Finnick, Johanna, and Mags. I'm friends with other victors as well. After working together for so long we all know each other. But mostly I'm excited to see Haymitch and Chaff because the three of us get along surprisingly well.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm one of the first people here. This seems to have surprised everyone in the room and its surprise me to be honest. 10 is usually one of the later trains. I feel like there are needles all over me as more and more people start showing up. Some of them are good people and some I remember killing tributes of mine. I catch my breath and wave at the two victors from 9; they were always nice to me. I see Johanna and we have a half hug of sorts and talk for a few minutes. I like Johanna because she's always angry and I understand the anger. Also because she curses like a champion and because I know the Capitol has fucked up her life too. Then Finnick comes in and I walk over to him and hug him. Finnick makes a couple jokes but we've been friends for long enough that I know how much he doesn't want to be here.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After that Chaff shows up. Chaff looks absolutely threatening something I envy. Chaff is very tall at around six foot something and has black skin and short black hair. He also had a stump for a hand (which looked more badass than my own missing leg). Chaff was one of my best friends. We had always just sort of clicked together and had bonded over the games, alcohol, and doing dumb stuff together.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Cripple buddy!!" I yell and Chaff laughs. I hold up my prosthetic leg and he holds up the stump of his arm. We laugh for a minute. The needles diminish as Chaff moves near me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're husband here yet?" Chaff asks. I roll my eyes at him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't like him," I defend.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't think you like him. I think you love him," Chaff jokes and I punch him in the arm. Hard.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Sorry. Sorry. If I give you some of this-" he holds up a flask, "would you forgive me?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I immediately nod and take a drink from it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Healthy but a drunk with hallucinations. The Capitol thinks you're hilarious though half your jokes are making fun of them. What a contradiction," Chaff whispers to me. I throw a suspicious glance.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"With justified reasons," I defended.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Everyone in here has justified reasons," Chaff argues.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"And they all have problems. At least I don't drink as much as you and Haymitch. This been your mind for a while?" I argue back and the feeling of needles all over my body is back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Don't make this about me little red. You know I didn't mean it like that. I just wanted to remind you," Chaff seems to realize it's pointless to argue with me. I'm on edge again and I want to go find fresh air but Haymitch chooses this moment to come in. He looks half drunk and his clothes are a mess but I am so happy to see him. He looks like shit but he's so familiar and Haymitch that I walk over and wrap myself in a hug. The needles are gone now.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hey Red," Haymitch slurs into my hair. He releases his hug and gives me a look over. One eyebrow pops up in concern before doing some weird manly hug with Chaff. Then we all crash into a couch. Some Capitol staff member comes in and begins telling us our duties. After all the years of sending kids to their death I know them by heart. As the meeting starts we pass the bottle around. About halfway into the "how a mentor should act" speech, I fall asleep on Haymitch's shoulder curled between him and Chaff.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Let them do whatever they want. Hopefully you won't be cowboys again this year," Tam states as the stylists have appeared. They grab me and pull me one way and pull Yohan the other. I hope I won't be naked.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My team is all talking at once and I'm trying very hard to hear what they're saying but it's too many people talking at once and I give up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm taken to a strange room and asked to take off my clothes. I blush and manage to do what they say. They laugh at me and say something about how I'm too innocent or too sweet. Then I'm dragged away and washed and I feel like an animal more than a human. After I'm washed they pour wax onto me and proceed to remove every inch of hair from my body. I scream a lot during it but I never object. I try to block everything out until I'm standing by a mirror and I notice how completely different I look.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, they finish and the stylist team seems proud of their work. Then one of them, I can't remember their names but he has purple hair, runs to tell the person in charge.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A man comes out and watches me carefully. He has white hair and gold tattoos running all across him. There's blue eyeliner around each eye. He seems angry. Other than that he looks quite tame in a white shirt with a huge dip at the neck and black pants. I hope he won't make me naked.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I like you," he says after a minute. Then he tosses me a robe and pulls me to another room. There are chairs for me to sit at. He is still silent and mostly watching me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I decided against nudity," he says. And I let out a grateful breath.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"And no cowboys," he states. He still hasn't told me his name. Maybe one of the stylists did.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't care as long as I'm not naked," I tell him. He smiles.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ludd," he holds out a hand.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red," I state shaking his hand. His eyes light up and he pulls out a pad of paper.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"This will be the design for you this year," he states. Everything about him seems calculating and I feel like I should be on edge around him but instead I feel quite at home. "I'll admit I anticipated you having the trademark dark hair and tan skin. But you are gorgeous on you own. Red hair, blue eyes, pale skin, good eyebrows, not bad nose, lips could be better, decent cheekbones."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm a little shocked at his forwardness about my looks but I quickly cover it and look at his designs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The designs. They are almost unbelievably good. It's the best we've had in years if not ever.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Let's get you dressed," he says and I trust him more because he actually has tried to give me a chance in this game of death.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The costume looks good on me, I think. It's made of mostly leather. There are leather arm guards on me and the dress I wear is all leather and metal mixed together. On my head there is a bull's skull. The make up is strange and makes my face look hollow and empty like the skull on my head. It doesn't make me look sexy or likable but it makes me looks strong and that's enough.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After that I'm brought down to a large stable area where the chariots wait. Ludd walks me over to district 10s chariot. There are four brown horses that look about the same color as our costume. Yohan waves at me from where he's sitting. He's wearing leather pants and a bull skull making him look like some half man and half bull. He looks very good. I look alright or at least better then usual.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why did you hold hands at the ceremony?" Ludd asks us. I glance at Yohan and he glances at me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We were scared and yet we were all we had from our district," I find myself saying. Yohan nods in agreement. Ludd nods at this. Then he's disappeared like the phantom he seems to be.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Your guy seems kind of weird," Yohan states and I find myself agreeing. Yohan compliments my bull skull with a laugh and I thank him and complement his. Then we both watch our competition and I glance around the stables and eye everyone's costumes. I can't help but think that ours are one of the best. Poor twelve is coal again. Eleven isn't much better. Seven is trees again. Only the career districts look half decent.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I spot two men that are drinking to the side. One of them has blonde hair and quite a handsome face. The other is taller and has dark skin. They are both laughing at some joke I can't hear. I recognize one of them as the victor of the last quarter quell. I remember cheering for him, because he was cute and had treated another girl well in the games. The other I don't recognize but I have no doubt that he is also a victor.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then its time to go and we have no choice but to get in the chariot. The chariot is steady and the horses are very well trained. They are different then those in our district. They look pretty. Not as fast and strong but prettier. District 1 goes out earning huge cheers followed by district 2 and so on. Eventually it's our turn and the chariot goes forward. We look strong. The crowd actually pays attention to us. Yohan yells over the noise. "Look angry!"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And that's what I do. I look ahead and furrow my eyebrows just slightly. I don't smile and wave like the others. Yet the crowd has exploded over us. We don't have the best costumes or personalities but we are unexpected and new and that puts us into the competition.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The chariots pull into the training center and I just about fall of the chariot. My legs are shaking but I'm filled with adrenaline.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You did amazing!" Yohan says throwing an arm around my shoulder in a quick hug.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thanks you too!!" I say back. And I wonder how we've gone from complete strangers to best friends in one chariot ride and I can't help but think, it's because we remind each of home and what we left behind. But that's not true. We generally got on very well. The thought is followed by the realization I might have to kill him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Not bad. Or at least the audience didn't think you sucked as much as you usually do," Tam says. I laugh a little.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tam walks us to the elevator and waves at the two drunk guys from earlier as he goes by. They wave back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Nice costumes you didn't look like total bullshit this year!!" The blonde guy says and then laughs so hard at his joke that he falls from his chair. Tam rolls his eyes and we get in the elevator.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Those two are idiots," Tam states.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why'd you say hi to them then?" Yohan asks. Tam thinks for a minute</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Because sometimes you care about idiots," Tam replies. I don't understand at the time but it sticks in my mind.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Immediately after the meeting we have to split up again. I hate it. I want to stay with the few people I care about for as long as possible.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm rushed to my stylist. I only have one and her name is Lucia. Lucia has short spiked black hair. Her eyes are always surrounded by black and gold eyeliner. She usually wears black and gold dresses that make her look like a trophy. She's been my stylist for years now.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hey Lucia," I say as I walk in. Lucia looks up at me and smiles. She walks over and gives me a hug. She reminds me of a cat most of the time because of the way she goes between very loving and cold glares.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red. I'm happy to see you again! I have the wardrobe of the century for you," Lucia states. She first fixes me up making sure I'm properly waxed and cuts my hair back into place before doing some elegant braid. Then she does makeup. It consists mostly of eyeliner and light contouring.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"This year I kept up your black theme but I threw in splashes of color. This year the color is red." She holds up designs and clothes than throws me a dress for tonight's ceremony. It's mostly black but has small cuts where red mesh has been thrown in. It looks aggressive but good on me like I've been doused in blood. All the red of my skin, my hair, and my dress are matching. I'm given gold gladiator shoes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'll send you the clothes don't worry darling. You look lovely go kick some ass," Lucia says before pushing me out of her room. I head down to the ceremony. I'm late already but I doubt the chariots have started coming by. I jump into the seat between Chaff and Haymitch. Behind me sit Effie and Atlas, Chaff's escort must have wondered off.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Damn you look hot," Chaff says with a chuckle before offering me some champagne. I can feel my cheeks burning up but take the champagne and manage a thanks. Chaff looks good in a plain black button up, vest, and pants. Haymitch has on a black tie and blue dress shirt with a three piece suit. I can't help but think that he looks handsome. He doesn't look like the mess he did this morning. I realize what I've been thinking and shake my head of the thoughts. Chaff gives me a shit eating grin before turning to Haymitch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What do you think, Haymitch?" Chaff asks. Haymitch was looking at me but turns away as if he's been caught.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You look great, Red," he answers. Chaff is laughing his butt off next to me. I roll my eyes and concentrate on the parade. The tributes look pretty good. As mine come out I see they are cowboys once again. Then 12 is out and looks as though they're on fire. I touch the old burn on my wrist in pure reaction. I'm amazed by the fact that they aren't burning. Then I notice that they both are holding hands. I nudge Haymitch who looks like a proud father watching his tributes go by. I lean in close so he can hear me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Nice job," I say. He looks up and mouths thank you before watching the tributes again. I stare at Haymitch for a second before tuning back to the tributes as well.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tributes are doing their final laps around. Chaff, Haymitch, and I walk down stairs to greet our tributes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Can I sleep in your room tonight?" I ask Haymitch. I've slept in other tributes rooms since I first got out of the games. I couldn't sleep well alone. The other tributes understood and didn't ask about it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Anytime," Haymitch replies.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Good thanks. Same for you Chaff!" I yell to Chaff as I go to greet my tributes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Our costumes were shit," Rhyme says and I nod in agreement.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They always are, you can still win this," I say to them though it will be harder to find them sponsors. I bring them to the elevator waving at Finnick as he passed by. Finnick smiled and waved back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're friends with Finnick?" Rhyme asks. I forget that Finnick is something of a sex symbol.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah I'd say he's one of my best friends."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Lucky." She manages.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"If you win you could be too," I reply and that shuts up Rhyme really fast. I don't mention to her that Finnick is actually in love with someone because I'm not about to ruin that girls hopes. We join the elevator with Johanna's tributes and her. She's with her male mentor whose name is something like Blight. I press the button for 10.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Cowboys again I see," Johanna says and I laugh.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"And trees as always!" I joke. Johanna and I laugh though the jokes are dark and resentful for the kids who could die from the lack of sponsors because of this.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'll see you later?" Johanna says as the elevator opens to her floor.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Of course," I reply. Then the elevator has closed again and shot up to our floor. I can see how impressed they are by the elevator and I lead them into the floor.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Atlas is giving orders for dinner. There are Avoxes standing by for every order. Atlas turns and strikes a huge smile as we all walk in.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Are you going to help us or not?" Horne asks quietly. I'm slightly taken aback and stop walking.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I always try to help my tributes," I reply.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Then why are you always drunk? Or always breaking down?" Rhyme spits out at me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Do you think if you win the games you are ever the same? It's better than death but it changes you. There are no winners only survivors," I parrot what Haymitch told me years ago.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I doubt they get it but they stop asking me about my bad habits. Now we go to dinner. Atlas gazes at me happily. Atlas has put on my plate my favorite foods and I can't help but glance at him gratefully. There are olives and potatoes and steak and strawberries and choclate ice cream. I manage to eat a little of each and all of the olives. The reruns of tonight's show is on but I'm not paying attention.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Get to bed. We have work to do tomorrow," I tell the kids once they've finished dinner and watching the ceremony. Then I go shower before I head to bed myself. The capitol may be terrible in many ways but they are definitely number one for showers. I have managed to find the perfect settings for my shower and I always end up taking an hour long shower.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once I finally leave the shower I set my wardrobe for what I want. I put on my undergarments first and then look through the clothes. I find a shirt that has to be two sizes too big for me. It hangs down past my butt. I pull on a pair of shorts and then walk out to the elevator. I push the button for floor 12 and go up. I see Effie, Haymitch, and two people I've never seen before. I must look surprised because Haymitch quickly introduces me to the two designers.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I shakes hands with Portia and Cinna who I can't help but linger on. He looks ridiculously gorgeous.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Your leg is a prosthetic?" Cinna asks. I don't know why he asked. You can easily tell that my leg isn't actually the awkward eggshell colored plastic material.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yes. I lost it in my games."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't suppose you remember who you're designer was during the games?" Cinna asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ludd," I state instantly still remembering the phantom of a man. I see the slightest sign of recognition. Cinna nods but I'm too tired to continue talking.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I wave goodbye and go to Haymitch's room. I play around with the weird capital electronics mostly using the windows to look around the city and changing backgrounds.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch walks in and immediately strips down to just boxers before getting in bed. I roll in next to him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Sorry I should've told you Cinna and Portia would be here," Haymitch says and I shrug.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I didn't mind. How long have you had them?" I ask turning over so I'm looking him in the eyes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They're new this year," Haymitch states.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Cinna's gorgeous," I tell Haymitch who looks only slightly annoyed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Better yet he did a great job," I add. Haymitch looks slightly less irritated now.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah he did," Haymitch yawns. We continue talking for a few minutes before falling asleep.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It always starts off in the arena as I'm standing on the platform waiting to run. I glance around and see that all the other people I have cared about or do care about are here. I can see my family. Chaff and Haymitch are on either side of me. Johanna, Mags, and Finnick are on the other side. There's Atlas and Tam. I can see some of my tributes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then the countdown is done and everyone's running. I grab a bag and I'm running away. Today it's my brother who kills me. He slices my throat. The last thing I see is the sick grin on his face as he kills me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I wake up gasping for air. I'm dripping sweat and having trouble breathing. Haymitch is awake too and he's sitting in front of me trying to calm me down. For a minute I'm terrified because he was there too. He's killed me before too. I must have been screaming, I think. I've managed to steady myself enough that I can hear what he's saying.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red it's not real. It's just a dream. Look you're okay we're at the training center you're in my room. I'm here with you. It's just you and me," he's repeats over and over. I glance around and realize he's right. I collapse onto the bed then and Haymitch lays down again but I can tell he's still watching me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch doesn't ask me what happened in the dream. He's smart enough to know I don't want to talk about it. But he does stay close by. He always has a hand touching me so I know I'm not alone. I can't help but to think that this is much better than being in district 10 alone.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You'll never have to go back," Haymitch whispers. I nod and pull myself forward to hug him. He hugs me too. Then we release and he tries to get more sleep. I lay and watch him. His hands are tight on his knife and I wonder how he's never stabbed me when he wakes up to me screaming. But I push the thought away. Sometimes he cries out in his sleep and I know he's having nightmares. That's what the games do.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The training center is just as impressive as the rest of the building. However unlike the quiet glass elevators and the beyond amazing rooms we were staying in the training arena was to make sure we have a chance. I'm thankful that we will get some good training before we die. Yohan and I are training together with Tam but we've decided to do our own thing during the training days. Tam warned us before we left not to do the thing we are best at it. I'm not sure what I'm best at it but I guess I'll be good at the obstacle course. So I avoid that.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I go to the archery station. I've never done archery and have to listen to the instructor before doing anything. I'm decent considering I've never shot a bow before. I enjoy the feeling of the release though so I stick around for a little while. Then I'm off to fire making. I already know this skill though and quickly head to knots. The knots area is fun because of how repetitive and calming it is.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Lunch is spent in a huge cafeteria and I sit by Yohan. Unlike most of the tributes we actually talk to each other. At this point I'm not sure I could kill Yohan to win. Every lunch we get a little closer. Once lunch is done, I train more.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That's how the next two days are. I turn out to excel at sword fighting and knife throwing. I'm quite good at archery by the end. I'm getting good at knots. I have aced the edible plants test twice. I am terrible at weights.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Are you ready?" Yohan questions as the girl from 9 leaves. I nod.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Are you?" I ask. He manages to nod. Then we sit in silence. Soon they call Yohan. My heart is beating like a wild horse. My stomach is in knots. Then it's my turn.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red Odinsteed," someone says and I can feel myself getting up and walking in. The first thing I notice is that the people who hold my life in their hands are only barely paying attention to me, if it at all.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I've thought over what I'm best and I keep coming back to the obstacle course it looks fairly easy and I know I can complete it. I walk over there and quickly go though the course. About one person has watched me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"HEY LISTEN HERE!! COULD YOU ALL DO YOUR JOB AND WATCH ME!! IN RETURN ILL GIVE YOU A HELL OF A FIGHT IN THE ARENA!!" I yell at them. They seem shocked at my sudden outburst and suddenly I realize I have made a terrible decision offending the people who can help me. But there's nothing I can do but prove myself. I notice that the obstacle course goes right above the sword training area.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A plan has formed and without thinking it through I have grabbed a sword and am running the obstacle course. As I approach the obstacle course I jump down on top of the dummy and cut his head off.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The judges watch in surprise and I give them a mock salute before leaving. I walk back up to the room where everyone waits tensely for the results.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I start to head back to my floor once the sun begins to rise. I run into the girl Haymitch is mentoring in the hallway. She clearly is surprised to see me come out Haymitch's door.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I needed to talk to Haymitch's ," I respond automatically.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I didn't mean to imply anythinh. I just was surprised that Haymitch had-" she trails off as if she can't finish the sentence.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We're just friends. He has Chaff and I and I guess Effie. Finnick and Johanna too," I say as I walk her to breakfast.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hey here's a tip kid. Listen to Haymitch. He's not as stupid as he looks," I say with a smile before leaving her alone.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm the first one up on my floor. I sit and eat some bacon. The avoxes stand by waiting for any order. I watch them with curiosity.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I began a conversation with one of the avoxes. He has dark skin with small cuts all across his arms. We talk for a while. I ask him where he's from (11), does he know Chaff (he knows of him), and you ever seen a bull (no he hasn't). Then I ask if I can help him at all (no.) A short answer but I wish I could do more.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I had an avocado teach me some of their secret language for a couple years until he disappeared. He was probably dead know. Or in torture. He sometimes came back and haunted my thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My discussions continue until Atlas and my tributes wake up. Then I ask him to wait up for me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What did you ask the avox?" Atlas asks as he fills his plate.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We were just talking about stuff and things," I reply. Atlas looks like he wants to object but he keeps his mouth shut.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Our strategy is going to be simple for training. Learn as much as you can but don't show off what your good at. What are you guys good at?" I add as an afterthought.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm a pretty fast thinker and I'm strong," Horne says. I buy it he has broad shoulders and a look in his eye that gives off intelligence.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm fast," Rhyme says. I nod.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Well I'm not sure what you two are best at. But try to learn everything you can," I tell them. Then we take the elevator down to the training area. I send my kids into the training room. Johanna and Finnick are waiting for me outside when I'm done.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finnick is smiling and being flirty with anyone who walks by and I feel strange having seen him when he isn't like that. Johanna and I are talking about this year games and if any of our tributes have a chance. We waste the day talking but I'm glad to get to know them better. After all I only see them once a year most years. Johanna still seems generally pissed off but she seems better by the end of the day.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The first day of training is over just like that and I'm back in the room with Atlas and the kids.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Tips for the arena?" I manage. The kids are paying attention to me for once. Yet I'm having trouble thinking what's the most important tip.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Number one before anything else if you want to win you have to want to be alive. Don't give up on life. Number two you need to eat but mostly you need to drink so find some water. Water is the most important thing in the arena. Number three don't go to the cornucopia. If you do you'll die. Four, you're never safe, if you feel safe you're wrong. Five. Alliances are okay as long as they aren't careers. Six. Don't trust any of your alliances because in the end everyone wants to save themself," I stop for a second and realize those are the best tips I can give. The kids seemed to have listened to me though. I send them to bed after that. Time for more training.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tam seems okay with the news. But Tam seems okay with everything. Tam is just too calm for someone who had to kill other children to win.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I wonder what your score will be," Tam states and then he's back to eating his soup again. Yohan seems to understand my nerves as well.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ludd and Yohan's designer walk in and the difference between them is immediately noticeable. Ludd is still mostly silent offering advise quietly. Yohan's designer Annita is loud and bubbly talking over the games. We all eat dinner together. I stuff myself with anything that comes near me and I look up to see Yohan doing the same. Then we're dragged away to watch the scores.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The careers have all scored well. As well as someone from 7. Then we're up. Yohan has scored a nine. Everyone is congratulating him when my score comes on and the room falls silent.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"How the hell did you score an 11?" Ludd asks. I'm in shock myself.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"She's got some fire in her and they like that. What did you use?" Tam asks clasping my shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I ran the obstacle course and I used a sword." I stutter out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Well nice job," Tam says and everyone is congratulating us. There are pats on the back and high fives.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You did good kids. Now get some sleep tomorrow will take some work." Tam tells us and I believe him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yohan and I walk back together to our rooms. It had become a habit. "You did a fantastic job. Maybe one of us can win."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Don't count yourself out yet. You did great today too," I state. Yohan blushes and gives a half shrug. We both have a hand on our doors when I turn and speak again. "I'm not going to try to get you in the games. Alliance to at the least not kill each other?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yohan smiles and nods. "I'd like that."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then we both split up and head to bed but I can't help but wonder about Yohan. If we hadn't been in the games maybe there would have been something there?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I spend the next two days working and hanging out with Chaff, Haymitch, Johanna, Mags, and Finnick. The next thing I know I'm waiting for scores for my tributes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Horne has a 7 and Rhyme has a 6. They aren't great scores but I've dealt with worse. Chaff's girl gets a 7. Chaff's boy gets a 10. Haymitch's kids really bring it to the table though. The boy gets an 8 and the girl I had talked to got an eleven. I still congratulate my kids though because a 6 and a 7 is a pretty good score. They seemed disappointed but I know they'll get over it. Then they're off to bed and I got into the elevator to go upstairs to Haymicth's room. I has stayed with Chaff the night before but Chaff snored far too loud and so I would not being doing that anytime soon.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once again I ran into Cinna. He smiled at me and once again I was struck by how handsome he was.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hello again," he says and his voice is quiet and melodic in a way that almost hurts me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hi. Congrats on your tributes," I state.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You too," I thank him. They did better than most and I am proud. Then I remember what will happen. Soon they will be nightmares.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I've been thinking about your leg," Cinna said. I can feel myself blush and I glance down at the plain ugly plastic thing where my leg was.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"If you allow me I'd like to design you a new one. Something a bit nicer and more functional," Cinna said his voice quiet and yet a smile on his lips.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That would be great. Though I won't be able to do it until the victory tour is over," I tell him. I always worked the victory tour as a photographer. It was one thing I had convinced the capital was a good idea. The capital chose which pictures could be released to make them look good. I had done lots of exhibits on the games over the years.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That's fine I can wait," he says before leaving. Haymitch is going to be confused. I told him I'd be in his room a while ago and now I'm running late. I opened the door to his room.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're late," he grumbled. He looked clean but the mostly empty bottle of whiskey betrayed him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm sorry. I was talking to Cinna," I told him climbing into his bed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why?" He growled. I glanced at him. He looked tense with his brow furrowed and his muscles tense.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Calm down. He was talking to me about my leg," I whispered now into my sleeping spot.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What about it?" Haymitch said having rolled over to look at me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He said he could make me a better leg," I whispered again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Is that what you want?" He asked finally becoming less tense.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I want lots of things," I said which left just enough room for thought but I was tired and had already began to drift into sleep.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch woke up in the night. I had already woken from a nightmare or I doubt he would have woken me. We both sat in dark silence. Outside the capital is still awake.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm so tired of this.” I whisper it because even though I'm not stating directly that I hate the games; I feel like the capitals listening to me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I am too," Haymitch replies. And it's so simple and so complex at once that I want to break down right there but I can't even move.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Things will change," Haymitch adds but it doesn't make me feel better. Change is not the same as getting better and that's what I needed. There's a silence for a few minutes before Haymitch speaks again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Are you doing any photography projects right now?" He asks me. The change in topics is helpful.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I haven't been doing much recently I need some new inspiration," I state.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I still want to see the full district 12 collection," Haymitch adds and I can hear the joking edge to his voice. A few years ago I had done a full tour of all 12 districts and taken pictures of each. It was probably my most fun project because I was allowed to stay with other victor friends like Finnick, Chaff, and Haymitch. It also allowed me to travel throughout every district. Something I would never get the chance to do again with the rumors of rebellion beginning to pick up. Not only was the trip fun but it was my most successful gallery.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You saw the gallery."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You took a billion photos at 12 and there were about twenty in your gallery," Haymitch remarked.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Maybe I'll show you them some day," I reply even though I know I won't. District 12 had been one of the districts that hit home for me. They were poor and the whole district was starving. The pictures were haunting and spoke of rebellion instead of what the capital wanted. Also there was the added fact that a lot of my photos were of Haymitch. And if there was one thing Haymitch didn't like it was himself.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're lying," Haymitch says and I'm surprised by how easily we recognize the other lying. I don't remember getting so close to him yet here we are lying in the same bed talking about things no one else knows. So I don't reply I just lie there and hope that one of us will fall asleep. It ends up being me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Today we will be training you on presentation and content in your interview," Tam says. I glance at Yohan and he glances at me. We are more nervous for this then training. The lady from the capital who has been with us, Janelle, will work presentation and Tam will work content. Yohan and I split up to start.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm stuck with Janelle first. She is happy with my posture. I run enough to know the best posture. She liked that about me but couldn't stand the 'angry look' on my face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Smile a little!!" Janelle says and I manage a smile. She does the most ridiculous pouting face I've ever seen.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I need a real smile!!" She squeaks out and I want to strangle her. How do you smile when you know your going to die or if you don't then you'll have to live with the deaths of others.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Come on Red!!" Janelle exclaims. She's trying to help in her own weird way I think. I give a real smile. Janelle claps her hands together.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Very good now let's try something a little flirty," Janelle says. I put on a seductive smile and Janelle is beyond herself.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You are quite the little actress!!" Janelle says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thanks," I say. I've always been a fantastic liar, I'm guessing that's why I was able to do this so easily.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I'm told to put on high heels and it seems that none of the earlier stuff I had done matters. Because damn I'm terrible on heels. I end up tripping over my own legs and the carpet and the table and anything near me. I've also broken two sets of heels.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Janelle ends up having to call Ludd to see if I'll be wearing heels. Ludd doesn't answer and I'm left with an unhelpful Janelle. Janelle ends up giving up on me and moves on to how to sit properly in interviews. Halfway into the lesson Ludd walks in and demands to see me walk in heels. I strut for three steps and then trip and fall onto the rug.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ludd shakes his head and proceeds to teach me how to walk in heels. He talks to me in ways I understand unlike Janelle who used to many reference to capital things. Ludd continued teaching me until he's convinced I've got the skill down and then he leaves.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He's quite strange isn't he?" Janelle says. I nod my head in agreement. I didn't trust Ludd very much but I liked him. He understood the games. And he made me better.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After more training with Janelle I am to switch with Yohan. Tam waits for me in the other room and holds my gaze as I walk in. I sit across from him and he stares at me for a minute.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Did you like anyone back in district 10?" He asks. I'm a little taken aback but I shake my head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No I mean I find some guys attractive but I'm not really attracted to anyone," I say in surprise.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That's good," Tam says. Then he begins talk about images.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You probably know that lots of people have images. They are flirty, or brash or confident. I don't want you to do that. I want you to be you because so far it seems to me that you have a likable personality. Here's the thing. You can't get angry. No matter what they ask," Tam says. And every word drills into my mind.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tam then proceeds to go through about 100 questions to see my answers only occasionally changing them. Tam smiles. "You'll do great."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I find myself believing Tam 100%. Then again Tam looks and talks like someone who will live forever and I can't help but trust him. After Tam is finished I'm rushed to Ludd and put into my costume for tonight. It's the most gorgeous dress I've ever seen. It's black with white splashed across it like bones. It doesn't have shoulders but I trust Ludd will be able to keep it on me. There's eyeliner around my eyes and a layered gold necklace to add to the look. I'm in awe of the way I look. I don't look like myself. Then I'm rushed to the interviews.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I've grown up around livestock being from district 10. My favorite livestock is Bulls. Bulls are massive and sometimes they get spooked and stampede. When I was seven I was running a message across a field when I got caught in a stampede. The Bulls do not care about anything other than getting away from what spooks them and so a small child was not even an obstacle to them. When they are running towards you it sounds like thunder and you can feel their stride inside you. I was lucky to be saved by one of the Cowboys before I got hurt or worse. That's how I would describe the feeling in my stomach now, like a bull stampede.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I hated waiting and the idea of going in front of the entirety of Panem made it worse. Everyone sat in a big circle until it was your turn to go up. I watched everyone go. Caesar reminds me of Janelle I don't like her but she is still helping me. Then it was my turn. I stood up as straight as possible and then tried to remember how to walk in heels. Once I remembered that a single thought crossed my mind 'make them love you so that you can live.'</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I strutted up to Caesar waving at the crowd with a smile. I walked over and hugged Caesar. I'm looking in the crowd and I eventually lock eyes with Tam. Tam nods reassuringly at me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"So Red, how do you like the capital?" Caesar asks me. This year he's all green the color of grass and I'm relaxed by it. The color of home.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's amazing, the food however is even more amazing," I say with a smile that I hope makes me look funny and a bit cocky and comfortable. The audience and Caesar laugh at this.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What's your favorite food been?" Caesar asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh that's hard to say. The olives are fantastic. But maybe the soup. Or the desserts. I would do anything for more dessert," I say laughing and throwing a wink to the audience. The audience laughs too. I don't feel tense at all. I feel good on stage.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You look gorgeous by the way," Caesar says. I smile and nod my head as if I knew this. The crowd laughs. Caesar claps happily. "Absolutely amazing."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thanks. Not bad yourself," I say with a wink and the audience roars in laughter.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Did you like any boys back in district ten?" Caesar ask after the laughing quiets. I lock eyes at Tam who gives me a wink: be flirty.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh I liked just about all of them," I laugh. Caesar makes a happy shocked face. I wink at the crowd.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're a bit of a spit fire!! So coming from District 10 are you good with animals?" He asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No I'm alright with dogs and horses but other than that no. I've had a few attempts on my life from Bulls. Please don't get me started on goats. Have you seen a goat before?" I ask back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I admit I haven't," he answers.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They're crazy!! Like demented in fact." I say before making a few demented goat faces. Caesar joins in and we both make ridiculous goat faces leaving the audience in stitches.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Caesar raises his arm and the crowd is more quiet. "Do you think you have a chance in the games?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh yes. I'm not ready to leave you guys alone yet." I joke and the buzzer rings signaling I should leave. I quickly teach Caeser a special hand shake before sitting again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yohan is quiet during his interview but it goes okay. Then the last two districts go and we're brought off stage to go back to the training center.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm ready to pass out the second I'm off the stage. I had too much nervous energy and getting off the stage left me empty and tired.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But instead I'm met with cheering from Tam, Yohan, Ludd, Yohan's fashion designer, and Janelle.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You did a great job," Yohan's designer says. Yohan glances towards me and smiles.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Not as good as you Red did," he states. Ludd ruffles my hair and Tam just gives me a smile.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The best I've had in years," Tam admits. I thank everyone and then we go back to our floor where I eat as much as I can and then I pass out. Tomorrow I would need the food and sleep.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p7">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The kids seem nervous for today even more than training. Which makes sense anyone can do well in training if you show the right skill however some people couldn't get the interview skill down.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Atlas loves today because he says it's the one time he feels like he really helps. I hate today because it's the one time I feel like I don't help. I'm terrible at choosing the right image for someone and end up making things worse rather than better.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Horne is with me first. Horne has a kind of quiet brooding thing going on so I keep with that. I try to help him give good answers but I don't know how to be brooding. I was good at interviews because I was 100% me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You know what just be yourself say what you want as long as it's not angry or rude. You seem like a cool kid. Use that in your interview," I said giving up. I realize for a moment how much that sounds like Tam. I can't help but wonder if Tam had given up on interviews too.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I missed Tam.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rhyme comes in next and I end up saying the same thing to her. Rhyme seems okay with this. Then the kids are taken off to get ready and I am too. Lucia is happy to see me today. She talks about the designs for tonight before stopping.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You'll look perfect," she says smiling at me. Then she reveals my dress. It's almost all red with gold and black splattered across it like paint. It's one strapped and almost reminds me of curtain but it's gorgeous. There are the same gold gladiator shoes to go with it. I put it on and then Lucia sets to work making sure that I look 'perfect.'</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I end up looking quite nice I think. I thank Lucia ("no problem anything for you, darling.") Then I run to meet my kids before they go on.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm nervous," Yohan admits. I laugh.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Isn't everyone? You'll do fine. Look for me or your stylists if you get too nervous," I tell him and smile at him before the tributes are taken away. I see Haymitch say one final word to his tributes. His female tribute looks angry and confused as she walks on stage. Haymitch and Chaff both walk up to me. We head to sit in the mentor section.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The kids interviews go quickly. Yohan is quiet and makes eye contact with me anytime he's nervous. But he does well considering. Rhyme ends up doing fantastic at the interview which I am surprised and impressed with. Chaff's little girl steals everyone's heart. But I am angry to see someone so young. Chaff's boy is hostile and I find myself wanting to cheer for him. Then Haymitch's girl Katniss, the girl on fire, comes on. She spends most the time being a kind of awkward little kid and the only time she really hits home is when she talks about her sister. Caesar also makes a joke about Haymitch and the camera goes to him. Haymitch waves well Chaff and I put bunny ears on him. The crowd roars in laughter. Then Haymitch's boy, who I admit I had counted out, came on and stole the entire show. First off he was funny reminding me of my interview. He and Caesar got on well. Then Caesar asked him if he had a girl in district 12.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t think it’s going to work out. Winning . . . won’t help in my case,” stammers Peeta.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why ever not?” Marvels Caesar.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Peeta blushes bright red and stutters out. “Because . . . because . . . she came here with me."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The audience is in an uproar. Chaff and I both immediately turn to Haymitch. Haymitch is grinning from ear to ear. There is no way in hell he could have gotten two perfect tributes but it appears he has. I look back on stage the camera is on Katniss face and shows confusion and a bit of anger. Then she looks away blushing. I laugh despite it all. The anthem plays but the camera stays on them. Everything is focused on them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I go back and meet my kids and I say they did good but Horne interrupted, "Not as good as district 12. No one will remember anyone but them."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can't help but nod in agreement. Then I glance at Horne again because those are almost the exact words Yohan used for me at my interview. I stare at Horne for a second. He looks too much like Yohan. Horne glances at me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What's wrong?" He asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You look like Yohan," I whisper more to myself then to him. Horne and Rhyme look concerned and Atlas runs up and congratulates them before noticing what was happening.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What happened?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"She said I looked like Yohan," Horne said still looking confused. And then I'm running. Atlas yells after me but I can't breathe and I need to get out of here. I get in an elevator with a bunch of careers and I'm going up the floors. I'm not even sure where I am going. I think to stop at 12 but I end up on the roof. I run to the edge and breathe freely for a second. Then I'm on the ground. I don't even know what's happening until about a half hour later. I sit up again and look around. There's no one here. I lay my head against the smooth concrete of the building.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why had I freaked out? Yohan has been dead for 13 years. But Yohan had saved my life in many ways and I can't help but still care about him. I groan. I should be down helping my kids before they leave to the arena. I roll over and throw up everything in my stomach and then walk back to the elevator.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I don't stop at floor 12 knowing Haymitch there will be some drama going on. I stop at floor 10. I walk into the dining room where Atlas, Horne, Rhyme, and their designers are eating. The room falls silent as I walk in.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm sorry Horne. I was just a little stressed," I say. Atlas grabs me and pulls me to my room.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You smell like throw up. And you have some on your shirt," Atlas states. Pushing me into the shower where he turns on the water and sprays me down. I change clothes and walk back out to dinner. Everyone has finished by then so I eat well they watch the interviews over again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm 90% sure Haymitch got yelled at for his stunt. But Haymitch is ridiculously smart and I'm sure he knows what he's doing.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then it's time to say goodbyes and Atlas hugs both tributes and I then I give them a weird half hug, half hand shake.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Final advice: The Cornucopia is a bad plan. Run for it. Find water. Then food. Then stay safe. Stay alive." I say and I can feel myself breaking apart sending these kids to their death.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then everyone's off to bed. Tomorrow Horne and Rhyme will go to the arena and Atlas and I will go to Games Headquarters. I decide to head up to Haymitch's room.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch is asleep when I get there but I don't wake him. This is one of the hardest nights of the year for me to sleep. I end up waking up about ten times for different nightmares. Haymitch is awake sometimes and sometimes he's asleep but I don't mind. The next day always kills me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We're taken to the arena quite early. I ride with Ludd all the way there. Last night we had said goodbye to Janelle and Tam. I would miss Tam even if we hadn't talked much I believed he truly wanted us to win and tried to help us. Last night I had seen Yohan for the final time. He stared at me for a while like he wanted to tell me something but didn't.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They give me a metal bracelet which I assume has a tracker in it. Once we get there Ludd and I walk to the starting area or stockyard. Stockyard was more accurate and I would know District 10 held almost all the stockyards. Ludd has been mostly quiet but upon walking into the room where I will be launched he starts talking in his hostile yet quiet way.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I had no part in the design for this," Ludd says and I nod in understanding. I take off my clothes and put on the new ones for the arena. The pants were a black leather like material. The boots were black with rubber soles good for running. There was a plain grey shirt and a thin dark green jacket over that. Also my district token, a plain ring made out of bone. Most of the people in district ten didn't have money for gold or silver rings so bone was important for my district. I recognized this to be my grandpas ring with elegant designs on it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I forgot I had this..." I admitted.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Well it's yours. Remember why you need to live," Ludd says then switched his attention to the uniform we had been given.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Probably going to be some rough terrain and areas for climbing. Definitely not a desert area. Also not a large amount of water," Ludd says and I immediately memorize the facts.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red. You are one of the ones that can win this. You're smart, you're fast, and you're strong. Win this for Your family and friends. Win it for you. But don't lose yourself. Now go change this shit and win," Ludd says. Then I have to step on the platform.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I put my feet on it but quickly give Ludd a hug. Ludd smiles at me for one last time then disappears from everything. The platform begins to rise and I'm suddenly focused on survival.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME TO THE 61ST ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES!!" Someone blares out but I keep my focus.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sixty seconds and we can go.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I'm out in the open and It has to be one of the most interesting arenas I've ever seen. It looks to be a city that has long since been abandoned. There are vines pouring down buildings and cracks in the ground that lead to something. Then I'm focused again on the cornucopia. I look around me and notice only a few things worth value. But closer to the cornucopia I can see a backpack with a sword lying against it. I'm fast but I don't want to get that close. I think it over quickly. Then as the 60 seconds is almost up one of the buildings closest to us breaks apart and the top of the building falls to the ground making an earth shattering noise just as the gong goes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone's paying attention to the falling building so that I can run and grab the bag and the sword. I manage to grab both as well as a coil of rope as I run into the ruined city.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Behind me the sound of people realizing what happened reaches me but I'm too far gone now for them to chase me. I keep running for a few minutes before switching to a jog then alternating between jogging and walking. There are buildings everywhere but I don't see any water and that's what I need. I keep up my jogging/walking.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I've reached the edge of the arena and I'm confused because it can't be more than 20 minutes from the cornucopia. Then I realize that all the extra room is in the tall buildings themselves. Our arena is not long it is tall. I run into what I hope looks like a rotting building hopefully no one will look here. Then I take off my backpack and quickly look over what I have.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I first look at the backpack itself it's black as my pants and boots and I'm glad that it will camouflage me. Then I look at my sword. I'm happy with it. It's not too heavy and it's well balanced. It'll save my life I'm sure. Then I open the back pack.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On top there is a black blanket I quickly take this out and wrap it around me. I hopefully will now blend into the darkness that the buildings seem to live off of. There is an empty water bottle and three small pills that I know will purify water. If only I had some water. I glance outside to see if anyone's coming but see no one so I continue looking through my bag. There is a small bag of dried meat and fruit which I am thankful for. There's a small thing of flint and steel but I already know I won't be using it. Fire means someone can spot you and that means death. Lastly there's a small green tarp.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I smile despite the fact that I could die any moment. I got a good bag. Now what I needed was water.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's a moment of hesitation as I think of how to find it. I end up deciding I should climb up one of the buildings and look around and see if there is a large source of water.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The building I am in now is falling apart too much for me to dare climbing it. I slowly flow with the shadows towards a more stable building. I yank open the door and begin looking for the stairs. I eventually manage to find them and head up them as quickly and quietly as possible. I am at the ninth floor when I stop and open the door.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I walk as silently as possible trying to catch my breath as I reach the windows. I have a good view from here. I look around the small area quickly. There are about twenty buildings surrounding the cornucopia. I'm in one of the taller ones now. I can see to the west side of the cornucopia is a large green space probably an old park. I can see the slightest glimmer in the dusk light and know there must be a small pond over there. I glance around but see no other source of water. I can see a pack of kids around the Cornucopia. Must be careers I think to myself. There is only one other kid that I can see and he is running out of the park. Another kid sprints out after him and I watch in horror as the new kid catches the one running away and breaks his neck. I decide immediately that I will not be going to the park.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then the cannons begin going off. I find myself counting silently.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Two.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Three.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Four.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Five.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Six.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Seven.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eight.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nine.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ten.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ten dead. I'm in shock. I can hardly breathe. Is Yohan among them? I shake my head. It doesn't matter. I have to win this for me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sun is still going down and I have a little bit of time before it'll be night. So I continue the search for water. I stay in the shadows of the building and avoid any windows or doors where someone can jump out and attack me. There is no sign of life in here other than the tributes and the whole place feels like it comes from another time.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sky is almost black when I walk around the corner and see a small water fountain trickling water. I first bend down and get a mouthful of it then I stick my water bottle under it. It fills agonizingly slowly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Especially in an area that is so open to attack. I luckily will blend into the shadows I think. I can win this if I stay in the shadows. My water bottle is full now and I close it and stick it back into my backpack. Then I get two more mouthfuls of water before disappearing into the shadows again. I see a building that I can only hope will be a good shelter for tonight. I silently as possible run up the stairs to the fourth floor and hide under a desk to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sky suddenly becomes alive and the face of the tributes come up. A girl from 2. Both the tributes from 3 are dead. 4's female. 5's male. 6's male. 7's female. 8's female and male. 12's female. I'm left to think over who lived. All I can think is that Yohan is alive. I'm happy about that. Then I remember that the less of us there are the more likely I'll have to kill Yohan.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I want to scream but I stay silent. I pull the blanket around me and manage to fall into a half sleep state. There's a canon in the night that scares me more then anything. After that even the slightest noise wakes me up. But I manage to get a little sleep.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My tributes are gone by the time I'm up. Atlas and I have to get packed to go to the game headquarters. Atlas and I meet at the elevator before going to the hovercraft that will take us to the Game Headquarters. Everyone on my hovercraft is old careers so I spend my time taking to Atlas.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Do you think they have a chance this year?" Atlas asks. I think for a moment before answering.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I think they always have a chance. This year I think Horne could actually make it. If it weren't for that foot of his I think he would have even better chances," I reply. Atlas nods in agreement before switching subjects.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"So what happened last night?" He asks. I glance around us but all the careers are in an argument about if they preferred blunt objects or sharp in their games.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yohan and I had gotten surprisingly close in the short time we knew each other," I state. Atlas gives me a look that asks me to continue the story.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Have you seen my games before?" I ask Atlas. Atlas looks at me for a second.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No I didn't want to invade your privacy," Atlas admits. I nod.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You should watch it. Maybe it would help you understand some of my... problems. But back to it. The other tribute from my district, Yohan, and I had accidentally gotten quite close. I swear to god Horne is related to him," I stumble over what I need to say next. "I- we. The arena is terrible. That's why I can't sleep alone. I keep seeing what happened and seeing it happen to others. Yohan helped me multiple times and then he died in my arms... There's more to the story but now isn't the right time," I say. And I try to get Atlas the message. Not here. I can't talk about it here. Atlas seems to understand my nonverbal queues.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"So Haymitch? You sleep with him because of the nightmares you guys aren't fuc-" Atlas begins. I cut him off.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Wait. Did you really think we were? God no. We literally just sleep. Do people think we do?" I ask in surprise. Atlas gives a shrug.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Lots of people think you're too good for him and thus aren't dating. Some believe you are having a secret romance. Some people think you just fuck," Atlas says laughing.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What did you think?" I ask him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The latter," he laughs and I hit him. We spend the rest of the ride joking around like old friends. Eventually we end up at the Game Headquarters. We get off as the pre show ends. There is a minute where everyone is shown to their rooms and I'm to be rooming with Atlas. Which I'm okay with. Atlas and I get along well even when we're in each other's space.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Though I spend most of my game times in one of the offices watching the games or mingling with sponsors.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then we go out to watch the beginning of the games. The countdown starts as Chaff, Haymitch, Finnick, and Johanna find me. We say our hellos but our attention is clearly on the clock counting down. The camera shows everyone. Horne looks determined and I pray he doesn't go to the cornucopia because I'm sure he's not fast enough to get out. The second Rhymes face is on screen I know she's going to try to get something from the cornucopia.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The gong rings and Horne takes off away from the cornucopia having only grabbed some rope. Rhyme runs right into the bloodbath and is immediately taken out. Coming in at 23rd. No one comforts anyone yet because there is still too much of a chance of death for their own tributes. I watch as Katniss nearly missed death as she pushes her backpack up to stop a knife. I smile because now she'll have a knife to use as a weapon.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After that I watch mainly the bloodbath. There has to be at least ten kids gone now. Things start to slow down and everyone gets to work on sponsors. I only need to take care of Horne now so that's what I focus on. Atlas helps of course. He's the best I know at talking up sponsors. Johanna has both kids taken out during the blood bath so she helps out Finnick and I. Finnick also lost one, his boy. Chaff and Haymitch have all of their kids.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I spend hours in the chair watching the games and doing sponsor paperwork. Occasionally I'll meet up with Atlas and rub elbows with some rich Capitol people in hopes of them giving us money for Horne. Many of them don't care about Horne and instead ask me about my games or my life. I entertain them if it means gaining sponsors. Atlas promises some of my photographs to big donors. I remember the days before Atlas and after Janelle I had gone through a lot of different escorts. Back then, my photos weren’t as wanted but I️ was wanted more. No one says you have to sleep with the sponsors and I️ missed most of the prostitution of victors. However, there had been plenty of men and women in my bed that I️ didn’t want. But those days were gone thanks to Atlas and my friends and my photography. I was thankful they were gone.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Johanna brings food for our little group that is working. But it's mostly time spent working without stop. I don't sleep during the games. I don't know how I actually did during my own games. But instead Haymitch drops a blanket on my shoulders and then goes back to his own sponsor work. Johanna falls asleep at her own desk. I don't wake her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The games are on in the room we are working on. Suddenly Haymitch is up and watching the tv. I see Katniss is sitting in a tree and the careers are under her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Is that your boy?" I ask Haymitch as I look at the careers. He nods slowly. Peeta says something and I can see that Katniss has just realized he is there. Katniss falls out of the tree but has luckily tied herself in. The careers have no idea she's there. They talk for a moment about Peeta and then the pack of them runs off. Katniss waits a minute then she slowly pulls herself back up. I can't see her face until she is off the tree and I can see she's smiling. I find myself smiling too Katniss has no idea what to do in front of cameras but she's getting better.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She gets her traps and cooks the rabbit she got and then is on the run again. The cameras are still on her. I check for Horne and I'm thankful to see he's still okay. He's asleep but I can tell by the way his face twitches that he will be up if he hears anything.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then it's more paperwork and hoping that this doesn't end as badly as most do. But how can a game where children are killed end anything but bloody.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The rest of the night goes by quickly. The next day goes by the same. There are more papers, more sucking up to people I don't care about, and more red eyes. Horne has managed to find water and some food so I hope he is okay. Atlas and I are having trouble finding sponsors though. But with Eleven’s boy and Twelve’s girl looking like good options for betting, Horne and his broken foot aren’t a good option.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch and Chaff are getting enough sponsors for now. Finnick always has sponsors having many people in the Capitol head over heels for him. Horne seems okay. It's been two days and he's not dead which definitely means something even if he doesn't know it. But Johanna is helping me and I'm getting closer to getting enough sponsor money to send Horne something. Horne doesn't need anything too badly yet. I'm sure he'd love some bread but he might need something more later on. I hate it. I hate having no idea what to do. Atlas helps though and Johanna and even Finnick, Haymitch, and Chaff despite having their own tributes to worry about. Horne is okay and that's what counts.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I wake up the second a sound reached my ears. The building sounds like it is cracking apart. I think of the beginning of the game and how the building has fallen. It is the same sound and if I am not out of here soon I will be crushed. I slept with my backpack and sword on so I'm able to get into the main stair way as quickly as possible. I can hear my heart beating faster than I think should be possible and I manage to make it to the first floor before the building begins falling down. As I sprint across the lobby of the old building I can feel parts of the ceiling hit my arms.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I make it to the door as the whole building collapses in on itself. I'm heaving for breath and my leg is caught in part of the rubble. No matter what way I move the leg is stuck. I have a horrifying thought of the careers finding me here. I heave with all my might and fall onto the street. There is a moment of relief with my leg free followed by the realization that I can hardly walk let alone run with it now.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can hear voices nearby and need to get out of here. I drag myself towards one of the crevices in the street. I'm at the crevice when the careers come around the corner. I roll into the crevice before they see me. I land with a soft thud on what looks like train tracks. I continue dragging myself down the dark tunnel for as long as I can until I realize how badly I need to check myself.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My arms are covered with lots of small cuts from when the ceiling began to fall. I can feel a larger cut on my face by my eyebrow. Then theirs my leg. I can hardly see in this tunnel but I can see some major bruising on my leg. The leg itself doesn't look like it's broken. I must've pulled it out of place when I pulled my leg out, I think.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Which leaves another problem. I'm going to have to pop my leg into place. I quickly find some rope to bite down on. Then I push it back into place. A sickening pop echoes through the tunnel and I want to vomit I'm in so much pain. I force myself to keep it down so that I still have some food in my stomach.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I manage to pull myself up and stand on both legs for a second. Sharp pain shoots through my leg. A step forward and more pain. The Game Makers must be thrilled that I've fallen for their trap. I walk for a few more minutes in the tunnel and then I have to sit down and rest. A leg injury is not going to make winning this game easy but it could have been worse. It could have broken or had to get cut off. I shudder involuntarily.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm still doing well though. I have beaten half of the tributes already. Now I just have to beat the rest.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Might as well check the tunnels. Someone might be hiding here," I hear a voice echo. A chorus of thumps bounce off the walls and I know the careers are in the tunnel with me. I quietly as possible hobble away from them looking for someplace I can hide. I find a small area I can hide under and quickly stuff myself under there. I pull my sword loose so that I can strike someone before they find me. Then I pull my blanket over everything but my eyes. If I'm going down then someone will go with me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Still too many people left," a guy with a particularly slurred voice said.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Not for long. After all we know the system now," a guy says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Wait... What's the system?" The slurred guy asks. Another voice joins the conversation.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're so stupid. District 2 won't even miss you. The system is that the buildings fall whenever a tributes are in them. Remember the boy from last night?" this is a girl's voice and I can already picture her from training. From District 1 gorgeous with blonde hair but her eyes betrayed cruelty. Better yet I now know how the buildings work. My heart is thumping alarmingly fast and I'm sure they can hear it beating out of my chest.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You know what we'll see where the next exit is and Dan look for anyone hiding in here," the girl says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fine," a voice says belonging to the guy without a slur. I feel the breeze of the other two running past me. I'm left in the darkness with a guy looking to kill me. I listen until the echoes of the others are far off and then I'm left waiting to see if the guy will kill me or not.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The careers obviously think someone's down here the way the guy was combing every area. He was getting closer and closer to me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The faint light of his flashlight would be enough to find me. He continued moving. I caught a glimpse of his face for the first time and I recognized him. He had a certain silent violence about him during training. Black hair, black eyes, and a sharp jawline. District 4's male. He continues walking until his feet are within reach of my hands. There's a moment where I'm sure he won't notice me. Then the lights hit me and he grabs me without hesitation. I'm thankful for his silence because he doesn't call for the others. However the sick grin on his face shows how doomed I am.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except he hasn't noticed my sword. He leans towards me with a knife on my throat. There's a moment of confusion as he sees the sword beneath my blanket. Then I have shoved it through his heart and the knife has dropped away from my neck. There's a small line of blood where his knife was but not enough that I will die.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm left staring at the corpse when I remember the careers just down the tunnel. I quickly check his backpack, praying I'll get out of the tunnels alive. There's a full bottle of water, and a couple of iodine pills, a set of throwing knives, and some food that I take.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The knifes are what I needed. I now have a small amount of range to fight with. A canon goes off above. Then I hear the careers and stumble as quietly as possible back to the entrance I came in originally. I find a small overhang to hide under. I throw a large rock out of the tunnel into the street above and pray that the careers follow the sound.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm lucky. The careers go out into the street above and run off.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I realize I have killed someone. But I don't cry yet. I can cry after I'm out of here. But I can't cry now. I need sponsors and so I need to look strong.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's too much for me though. The injury to my leg and my first kill all at once. I feel myself falling into darkness.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I wake up with a gasp and look around. It's clearly night time by now and I wonder how long I've been passed out. I search my bag and pull out a water. I gulp it down. My throat tells me it's been far too long since I ate or drank anything. After I finish chugging some water I eat some of my dried fruit and a little of the boy I killed's bread.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I stumble out of the crevice and refill my water quickly before running off. Surely the careers are still looking for me? If so I can't be anywhere near here. I limp until I find a thick bunch of bushes where I sit down and make a shelter for the night. There was no use in running when you couldn't see.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Out of the corner of my eyes I see a small parachute falling to the ground in front of me. I jump forward and grab it before hiding in the bushes again. The small silver box looks the way capitol food tastes to me. I slowly open it and pull out the small object inside. I recognize it as medicine for wounds. There's is also a note that reads: '4hoursout.' I've been out for four hours but Tam is saying it's okay. It's okay to kill. It's okay that I fainted. It will be okay. I rub a little medicine on my bigger cuts but mostly keep it for if I get hurt worse later.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I stay in the shadows the rest of the night and the next day and encounter no one. I'm thankful for that. Think about how to win this, I think to myself. Past victors have won with strength and ruthlessness. I can't win that way. But smarts? I could do that. I think back to Ludd's words, "Now go change this shit and win."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Change it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I would have to change the rules to win.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Paperwork is exhausting. I can't spend that much time on something so mundane. Dealing with sponsors is even worse. "Darling is it true that you are fucking Haymitch Abernathy? I don't see the appeal." "Can I touch your leg- the part that the tribute cut off." "Your photographs are so good. I forget that people out there have it worse- I saw a photo of one of their houses- it's just terribly ugly isn't it." It's very easy to hate them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But the idea that I may save Horne keeps me from quitting. Honestly even when my tributes are gone I'll help anyone who's not a career. The careers do fine without help. I have my legs up on Finnick's lap. He doesn't mind. We've spent enough time with each other to get each other. I glance around at my small group of friends: Haymitch, Chaff, Johanna, and Finnick. Atlas and others too but Atlas is not in the room right now. And I don't feel as close to anyone else.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The screen suddenly becomes bright and I see that the arena has fire introduced. A double fire element in fact with a wall of fire and fireballs. Lots of tributes are running from it. There's burned skin, clothes, and bags. The fire leaves nothing untouched. There's Horne, the Careers and Peeta, Katniss, and Rue; Chaff's girl.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Horne gets out of it surprisingly fast for a kid with a bad leg. He must have just barely been in the area. Then my focus is on the others. Katniss and the careers are having the most Trouble. Rue is doing great. I hope that Rue wins but it's so rare that someone so young wins that I know in my heart she won't.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone's made it out of the fire now and I can see Haymitch's kid has been burned pretty bad. She slowly eases her leg into the water. I can see she's in a lot of pain.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'd get some burn relief if I were you," I whisper to Haymitch who nods and gets to work. I watch Horne on a different screen and am thankful to see that he is unscathed. I get back to my paperwork again. We sit occasionally talking and eating most of the day when we aren't with our escorts or sponsors. It's quite boring to do because you feel like there's no way to help anyone.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The days running to a close when I notice what's happening on screen. I whistle lightly for everyone's attention. Everyone looks up at the monitors to see Katniss climb up a tree. The careers are at the bottom.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Someone turn on the volume," Johanna says. Chaff obliges and turns the screen off mute. Almost immediately Katniss is making snarky comments. Taunting them because she can climb better.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I like her," Johanna and I say at the same time. We bump fists at our mutual thoughts before turning our attention to the screen.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The careers are waiting below and arguing. One of them tries to climb the tree but is too heavy and the branches break. Peeta suggest waiting her out. The careers set up a small camp.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Johanna, can you watch and tell me if anything comes up?" Haymitch asks. Johanna nods and Haymitch runs off no doubt having finished the paper work. Something else had happened I see Horne has lost most of his food because of the fire and will be hungry soon. Now is the time to send him food. A loaf of bread is something cheap but efficient and I have enough sponsors for it this early in the game. So I run out after Haymitch to make sure my deal goes through.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch has sent in burn medicine to Katniss and as he passes me he gives a tiny smile. It's just enough for me to know that he actually believes. He believes for once that he can win this. Then I'm back on track and talking to one of the game makers.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I have my stuff done. I need bread for Horne," I say. The game maker nods and takes all my stuff then sends me back. I walk into the room and watch as a parachute falls by Horne. He takes it and looks for a camera before mouthing thank you. Then he rips off a piece of the bread and eats it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Rue showed Katniss a wasp nest well you were gone. Tracker Jackers. She's going to drop them on the careers," Johanna tells me. I nod and watch with interest. As morning comes Katniss cuts the branch and the nest falls on the careers. Katniss seems to have been stung a few times. But the girl, Glimmer, gets the worst of it. Finnick's girl too. Finnick seems upset but not overly so. You become numb after a while.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss acts like she's drunk wobbling around and grabbing the bow from Glimmer as two canons fire. Katniss manages to grab the bow but by then the careers are running back. Then Peeta saves her life and yells at her to run.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Peeta saved Katniss. Peeta might die because of this. I look at Haymitch. The look in his eyes is not good at all. I grab his arm and shake him slightly pulling him back to reality.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Sponsors," I whisper the word and Haymitch changes back to game mode. Finnick has now lost both his tributes and has moved to help Chaff, Haymitch, and I. Johanna helps too. I'm tired of seeing kids die.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The plan to beat the game is far too complex for my own good. I would say I'm a smart kid but I'm not as smart as the capital. <em>And I don't want them to kill me if I wi</em>n, I think.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The plan requires the tunnels and I'm not sure I want to go back there. Since killing distinct 4's boy one other person has died. As night closes they show who has been killed since yesterday. It's the two people from 9. I can't think about this much because I hear someone walking by. I immediately have my hand on my sword and squint in the darkness to see who it is. Whoever it is they are small and alone. I pounce out onto them. My sword at their throat.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's a boy from twelve. He's got to be about 12. He's tiny with black hair and brown eyes and tan skin. He looks beyond terrified. I begin to press my sword down but I can't do it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I quickly check him for weapons or anything useful. It doesn't appear like he has anything. I slowly get up. The kid looks beyond horrified and confused.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Listen to me. I'll give you a chance. Run as fast as you can from here and don't ever think about it again. You're too young for this," I say the words but the boy looks just as confused as ever. There's a moment where we are just staring at each other.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I said run boy," I growl at him. He turns to run but quickly pipes out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Can I have a weapon?" He asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why would I give you a weapon?" I scoff. He seems to be thinking as quickly as possible.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I can help you. I've figured out the arena," he says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Prove it."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He reaches over to the bushes and shakes them. It produces a loud rustling sound that drowns out our conversation.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The buildings collapse when you stay in them." He stutters out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I know."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This makes him even more nervous and sweaty looking. He seems to be going over everything in his head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"When you die in the tunnels it takes them a day to get your body out," he whispers to me. This I didn't know. I get why he had to hide it. You can use it to win. You can use it to cheat.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fine. What do you want food or a weapon?" I ask him. He smiles.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"A weapon," he states. I toss him one of the throwing knives. He looks sad, one throwing knife doesn't help much. He stops shaking the bush. He dares one more statement.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I could work with you. Like an alliance." He says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"An alliance?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ya. I know more. I can help you," he pleads.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You could also stab me in the back well I'm sleeping," I argue. He shrugs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"But I promise I won't," he argues back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I think for a second. I could easily take this kid out right now. Or really any time. Plus he seems to know what he's talking about. He's so young too. He deserves a chance. I bite my cheek and slowly nod.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"An alliance. Okay rules though. 1. Don't kill the other person. 2. Once there is four tributes left, we leave each other. I'm not killing you alright?" I say. I have to think over other rules. What else is important?</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"There's another kid from my district. You also can't hurt him unless it's in defense. I'll do the same for the girl from your district if you want," I say. I still feel strangely close with Yohan. Something about us fits together and works.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The girl from my district is dead," he admits sadly. I mutter an apology but he shrugs it off.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"So is it a deal?" I ask him. He nods and we shake hands on it before I show him to the small bush hideout I have. He's impressed by the amount of stuff I had but I couldn't admit that it wasn't all mine.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You were the one who ran in the beginning right? When the rest of us were staring at the falling building?" He asks. I nod.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That was smart. And I can tell you have a plan to win with," he states. I shrug noncommittal as possible.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What's your name?" I ask him. He laughs at that.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I wasn't sure you'd ask. It's Ash," he says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm Red," I reply back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I know, you are kind of hard to forget," he admits. This confuses me more than I care to say. Then he adds, "wait a second your name is red and you have red hair. That's hilarious!"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"My parents sense of humor unfortunately," I say seriously before releasing a small laugh. For a moment the arena is gone and I'm just laughing with a friend of mine. Ash seems to do this to me often. He doesn't seem too terrified of death and has a morbid sense of humor that I get.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What's happened the couple days? I... Er... I passed out for a while and I've been in and out of buildings I can't pay too much attention," I state. Ash tells me that three people have died since. I bite my tongue when I realize that I killed one of them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next day is surprisingly boring. We refill our waters and I tell Ash my plan. We agree to work together on it and whoever doesn't die will be allowed to use it. Ash is surprisingly helpful and we spend the day mapping the tunnels and looking for the right spot for our plan.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There are no canons the whole day and it makes me afraid for tomorrow because if there isn't enough action then the game makers will surely add some. That night when we sleep I think of all the people I care about: my mom, dad, and mostly my brother. My friends. I even think about Tam, Ludd and against my better judgement Janelle. I wonder what they are thinking. I even think about Ash and Yohan's family. Both having to watch me talk to and about their kids. If I win I will talk to their families and apologize.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I'm asleep and the end is closer then ever.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Horne is okay. He's had a relatively painless game so far and he seems to be doing well, which scares me for his future. The more normal your game is the more brutal your ending. My focus shifts.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss lays in a small dent in the ground for a long time and the way she's moving about I can tell she's hallucinating. Tracker Jacker venom does that to people. It shows you you worst nightmares.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I wonder for a moment what my worst nightmare is. Long ago I would have said losing my family but that has happened already. I have lost everyone from my old life.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then there are the few friends I have now; Johanna, Finnick, Chaff, Mags and Haymitch. I know without doubt in my mind that I would kill for them. Hell I'd even die for them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My little group of friends. I wouldn't count Atlas or Effie or anyone who hasn't been in the games as part of it. They were definitely my friends but they didn't understand what killing a bunch of kids does to you. But Johanna, Finnick, Chaff, Haymitch, and I understood. We knew how the games worked. You could play for the capital, against the capital, or you could pretend. Our group understood this and so we pretended. Which is why we were so close.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Which is a problem because ever since my family was killed I have distanced myself from feelings towards others. Except the group of scarred warriors around me have become such a permanent group in my heart that I could never distance myself from them. Even Johanna who pushes anyone away when they get to close, I would still stay.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For years after the games and even now I'm trying to find something worth living for. My friends are the thing I need to live for. Which is why as terrible as the games are I don't want to leave for District 10. Because being in 10 means being alone and seeing the things that I did wrong in the past. If there is one thing I hate it's the past.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss has stopped freaking out now and seems to be taking in her surroundings. I am watching my friends. Johanna and Finnick left for sleep in a real bed a few minutes ago. Haymitch and Chaff are both doing their sponsor work. I study each of them more closely.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Chaff is a slow writer, this is mainly due to the fact that he had his dominant hand cut off. Chaff has improved greatly over the years though. Today he looks older probably due to the stress and lack of sleep in the games. It's hard on everyone. Chaff is going between writing and watching the games. When he notices me looking at him he gives me a shit eating grin before returning to work.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I look at Haymitch. He is also going between writing and watching. His bags are deeper than Chaff's and he has a permanent wrinkle between his eyebrows from the constant scowling he's done in the games. He is finally trying again after having given up for a good many years which scares me in a new way. I hope he can handle himself after all this. His blonde hair is directly in front of his eyes and he makes no move to change it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm debating if it would be weird to move the hair out of his face when Chaff lets out the low whistle we use to tell everyone that something's happening on screen. I turn up the volume and I can hear Rue and Katniss making an alliance.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Chaff and Haymitch bump fist without looking at each other. I manage a small smile. The two will work well together. Katniss can protect Rue and Rue is smart enough to make sure one of them wins.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rue has something she uses to fix Katniss's stings and then Katniss uses Haymitch's gift to help heal Rue's burns.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You have good sponsors," Rue says. I'm not sure whose face is better Katniss's half acknowledgment and half repulsed look or Haymitch's utterly surprised look followed by a deep scowl. I have to hold back a chuckle.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I check on Horne who seems fine at the moment. Then I'm watching Katniss and Rue talk about District 11. Katniss is obviously shocked by the facts she hears but I am used to it. I have been to every district more times than most. I went to each first for my own Victory Tour then for more when the Capitol decided I was pretty good at photography.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm watching the games some more but nothing has really happened other than Rue and Katniss's alliance. I'm sure there will be a new shit storm tomorrow.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the Game Center there are plenty of areas to work. There are some for just your own district and there are some like ours that can be shared between districts with alliances. My friends and I do not have alliances in this years game (other than 11 and 12) but they let us stay together. In the office we had claimed there is one sofa which usually has one or two people crashed on it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We had a sort of unspoken rule which was if shit hits the fan and you're awake than its your job to wake whoever was on the couch. Despite my hate for sleep in the games I am about to pass out. It's been three days without sleep and I can hardly read the paperwork in front of me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I get up and totter over towards the couch. I crash into it. My eyes close immediately and I can only just make out a voice in the background.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Want me to sleep with you?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I mumble something that sounds similar to<em> I don't care.</em> The voice says something back and I feel the weightlessness of being picked up. Then I'm put down again and someone has joined me. I can't manage to open my eyes to look at who it is but there is a familiarness that can only be Haymitch. He wraps a blanket around me and I can't help but think how much I enjoy being there with both of us wrapped around each other. Then the thought is gone as I embrace sleep.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Chaff wakes me up far too soon. However knowing the circumstance I am fully awake the second he wakes me. He points out one of the main screens. I can see Horne running through the forest going surprisingly fast for a crippled kid. The lights of morning are just now appearing.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Beyond Horne I can see the face of the blonde career boy. I think his name is Cato? The careers are obviously angry and lack any mercy. They catch Horne easily enough and Cato throws a single spear which lands in his leg. I realize with anger that he is playing with Horne before his death.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Horne's face twists in pain but he doesn't dare beg or even say a word. Cato has hit him a few more times before growling out, "Last words?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Horne looks him directly in the eyes. "What'll you do if you win? No one remembers a career. If I won everyone would've remembered me."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Horne is smart he knows that the quickest way to death would be an insult like that. Then to top it off Horne spits blood directly into Cato's face. Cato puts a spear through his heart after that. The cannon sounds as the sun breaches the sky line. It's a brutal scene but oddly peaceful. The light of a new day washing over Horne's body.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I feel like I was also stabbed. The pain in my heart is different from when Rhyme died. Horne had a good chance. Horne and I worked well together. I would see him in my nightmares for sure. I wipe a single tear away. Crying is done.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I clear off all the sponsor papers and throw them out. I'm even more angry then sad and I push off one of the fancy monitors that sits on the desk. It wouldn't matter. The Capitol had the money to fix anything. No need for them now. Haymitch and Chaff both watch helplessly. There's nothing to do when a tribute dies.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I return to the couch and Haymitch follows. I once again wrap myself around Haymitch. It's different this time though. Last night it was comfort for anxiety and fear. Today it's Haymitch holding me together to keep me from breaking into a million pieces. Haymitch kisses my forehead and pulls me closer and I have trouble breathing because of the anger in my chest. Chaff tells me he'll go get some hot chocolate and leaves the room. Then I'm sobbing, hot tears, into Haymitch's shirt. Haymitch doesn't mind or if he does he doesn't say anything. He just wraps the blanket around me and keeps me close.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"There's seven left," Ash says. I nod slowly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Can you remember who they are?" I ask back. Ash thinks for a minute.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Well two died today so anyone could be dead. So that means that Both of district 1 is alive. Two's male. I think some of 5 and 6? You and your male tribute. And me." He says. Neither of us is very sure about who is left though.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"How many days have we been here?" I ask.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"A week? I think. I don't know," Ash replies. All the days are merging together into one hellish life. The games will be over soon but it doesn't feel like soon enough.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Another day has passed and we have found the spot for our plan to take place. Now the only thing we need to know is how to get off the metal bracelets. There is time to think about that though.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sky has slowly turned to dusk. Tonight we have the same thing for dinner. A little dried fruit, a little bit of dried meat, some of the crackers I took from the district 4 male, and a little bit of vegetables that Ash had shown me. Overall it's a surprisingly good meal. Then we stay in the bushes and talk quietly as the sky lights up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The people killed were from 6 and 7. We had forgotten about the girl from 7 but I try not to think about that.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What's district 12 like?" I ask Ash. Ash seems to think this through as he does everything else.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's alright I guess," he finally says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I was looking for a better answer than that," I prod.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's the coal district you know? So almost everyone works in the mines. There's an area for merchants and the mayor; the richest people in town other than Haymitch. Pretty much everyone has black hair and brown eyes. Especially Seam kids. Then Ther-" I have to cut him off.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What's a seam?" I ask.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No not a seam, the Seam," Ash corrects, "that's where I'm from. It's the poor area of District 12. Most the coal miners work there. It's kind of... Bad. But it's right by the forest and there's a big meadow so it's not as bad as it sounds. Most everyone is pretty nice. We look after our own in the Seam."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm left with more questions then answers but Ash continues talking about District 12.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's not too bad though. Lots of people die of starvation there." I notice his permanently skinny frame. "But we survive."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"In district 10 we get beat if we steal food. So we're hungry a lot too. I knew one guy who took a pig and was going to eat him but the Peacekeepers came and got him. They made everybody come and watch him get beaten to death. Just cause he was hungry," I say. Ash's eyes are the only thing I can see at the moment because of how dark it is.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Not many people are beaten in 12 but plenty starve." Ash admits. We sit in a silence as we think this over.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You ever seen a horse?" I ask Ash. Ash nods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ever seen a whole bunch of them?" Ash shakes his head but I continue, "in 10 we have these huge herds of horses and they all run around. They always seem so free to me. So majestic and beautiful. And then there's Bulls. Bulls are fierce and fast and strong but they're really stupid."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The Bulls sound just like the careers," he says. I laugh at that.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We talk for a little longer before deciding to try and get some rest. However the next morning comes too early.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Look what I found!" Ash says coming out of the tunnel he had been exploring. He holds up a couple pieces of black rock.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ya what is it?" I ask him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Let me show you," he makes a long clean black mark on the wall.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Camouflage," I say. He nods eagerly. We go back and collect some more of it before continuing our scouting. The plan is ready now it's just who died first and figuring out how to break off the stupid tracker bracelets.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We try everything. Swords, knives, even swords that have been heated in fire (I'll forever have a small burn from that). We couldn't figure it out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fire would work but it'd burn the skin off too," Ash says. I nod in agreement. When the time comes I will use fire. I don't care if I burn.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm awoken by the sound of an explosion and Haymitch's rapid fire cursing. I'm wondering at the lack of his presence next to me. I'm confused for a minute about where I am and what's going on and then I remember. Horne is dead and the games are still going.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I fuzzily ask Johanna and Finnick what is going on. Everything is still confusing. Finnick explains it to me quickly well everyone else watches the screen.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You know the mines the careers set up?" I nod. "Katniss and Rue set up a plan to go destroy the Careers supplies. Except they didn't know about the mines. So district 6's girl runs across the mine field and Katniss somehow figures it out. Then, get this, Katniss shoots a bag of apples and the apples full on the mines and boom! Careers are screwed," Finnick says all this with a grin on his face that makes me believe he enjoys seeing the careers burn as much as I do.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except Katniss still hasn't ran and suddenly it's not good. Then I can see her ear and the confused look on her face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Is she deaf?" I ask and it's barely even a whisper. Everyone is glancing at each other in slight fear. Katniss just barely makes it to the bushes to hide when the careers are back. The blonde guy who killed Horne is obviously angry. He tears at his hair and slams his fist on the ground and then looks at the district 3 boy. I realize that he must have made the mines.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The boy makes a run for it but Cato has already grabbed him and broke his neck. The other careers are trying to calm him down but to no use. After that the careers are trying to find any leftovers.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I watch the other screens. Thresh hasn't changed much. Peeta is still camouflaged in the ground. Rue has been helping Katniss it looks like she is lighting fires. I find myself cheering for the little girl with dark skin and a bright smile.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm going to get food. Anyone coming?" I ask. Johanna gets up and we leave the guys.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You okay?" She asks the second I leave the room. I nod.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You were having nightmares." It is not a question but a statement. I nod in agreement anyways. "Did you know Haymitch is the only one who can make them stop? Chaff too but it doesn't always work for him."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I know I am blushing. I can feel how hot my cheeks are and I know Johanna sees it. She asks, "you fancy him?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No." But then I remember the feeling right before I feel asleep. Of enjoying it. Of enjoying being with him. I let out the smallest whisper, "maybe."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Johanna laughs. A real laugh not the kind she uses sometimes but a real one."God we've told you that for years and you are just noticing."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I shrug and shove her lightly. She shoves me back and then we are laughing. Then the sound of the game makers talking about their final battle reminds of where we are and what's going on and we are serious again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"At least one good thing has happened in this shit year. You finally figured out the most obvious thing in the universe," I shush Johanna. By then we are in the cafeteria. I see Atlas and wave at him. Johanna tells me to go talk with him well she gets the food.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I came and checked on you earlier but you were asleep. I didn't wake you because I guessed that was the first time you've slept," Atlas said.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You know me too well," I said with a smile. We hug for a minute.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You okay, Reddy," Atlas asks. I shrug.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Don't call me Reddy. And I don't know. I doubt I've been okay since I left District 10 the first time," I reply. Atlas nods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Are you helping Effie and Chaff's girl with their sponsors?" I ask. Atlas immediately rolls his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"DUH. I wouldn't help anyone other than your little brotherhood," Atlas snaps back. I laugh.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's not a brotherhood if Johanna and I are in it," I point out. Atlas shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's definitely still a brotherhood."</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We laugh together but the laugh is more of a way to appear normal and put together than anything else. For Atlas and for me. Johanna walks over.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Did you tell Atlas yet?" Johanna asks. I shush her. Atlas shoots me a '<em>what haven't your told me yet</em>' look. Johanna raises an eyebrow for approval and I nod. Johanna's voice drops to a whisper, "Red says she might like Haymitch."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Well I'm glad you finally noticed the obvious. Oh my god I can help you get together," Atlas says. I roll my eyes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ya fine but later, the games are still going," I say and both Johanna and Atlas nod in agreement. "And neither of you are allowed to tell anyone else!! God this is the first time I've felt like a child in years."</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We head back to the room after saying good bye to Atlas. The food is set out and everyone picks at it except Finnick and Chaff who eat everything no matter what.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Though even Chaff looks stressed. He has a good pair this year and only one could live. I go over and help him with paperwork. Chaff looks tired and I'm sure he'll need to drop soon however Chaff is also freaking gigantic and stubborn. So he would not be in bed until he wanted to be there.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I do as much paperwork as I can. I love Rue. She reminds me of the good left in the world. Thrash was different he was gigantic and rude but he reminded me so much of Chaff. That I doubted he was violent outside the arena. Chaff and Haymitch definitely had a worse bark than bite. Chaff looking like a gigantic violent drunk. When he was actually a gigantic sweetheart drunk.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course not in the arena. In the arena everyone was violent. It just depended on where you drew the line. My friends knew when to draw the line. I knew when to draw the line. Though sometimes I stood right on it. I manage to stay up doing paperwork for the whole time the tributes are recovering from the mine blast.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I let out a low whistle as a see Rue getting caught up in a net. It doesn't look good. I have to hit Chaff so that he can stay awake. Rue screams as she sees the guy. Katniss turns towards Rue's voice and yells out. I can already see what's going to happen. My breathing is shallow. Katniss breaks into the clearing as the spear hits Rue.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I only see the boy from District 1 once Katniss has shot him. He ends life choking on his own blood. It seems fair I think. His life to be taken so brutally after taking Rue's.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Someone turn on the volume," Haymitch snaps. Finnick immediately turns it on.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Sing," Rue says. I can feel my body breaking apart at the innocent request. Music. I can't remember the last time I cared about music. Katniss sings though. A lullaby of sorts. I've never heard it but I can tell by Haymitch's face that it means something to District 12.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"<em>Deep in the meadow, under the willow</em></span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>A bed of grass, a soft green pillow</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>And when you awake, the sun will rise.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Here it's safe, here it's warm</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Here the daisies guard you from harm</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Here is the place where I love you.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Deep in the meadow, hidden far away</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>A cloak of leaves, A moonbeam ray,</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Forget your woes and let your troubles lay</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>And when again it's morning, they'll wash away.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Here it's safe, here it's warm</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Here the daisies guard you from every harm</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Here is the place where I love you."</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The Mockingjays take up Rue's song. It is hauntingly beautiful. The room we all sit in has never been so quiet. None of us look at each other. We hardly even breathe.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss slowly gets up. She takes Rue and District 1's boy's bags. Then she begins to walk away she stops and turns back to Rue's small body.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A look of defiance crosses her face. She puts down some of her stuff. Then she picks a bunch of flowers. She walks back to Rue and begins weaving flowers into her hair and around face. She covers the ugly gash that crosses Rue's chest.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Bye Rue," she whispers. Only loud enough because the whole room is quiet. Katniss does the three finger salute that I recognize from my own time in District 12. Then she turns around and leaves not looking back as the hovercraft comes. She only stops when a little Mockingjay repeats Rue's whistle. Then she is off again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's the biggest fuck you to the capital I've ever seen. Because it isn't about beating the system or winning. It is Katniss showing that this little girl means something more than a game. It's a spark. It's the spark. The revolution begins with Rue.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next day starts early. There are less and less of us each day. It's been just under two weeks now. There's only six left. Today we spend once again in the tunnels.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At some point Ash decided it would be a good idea to draw up a map. So now we were finishing the underground map.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Have we been here?" I ask. This tunnel looks different. I don't recognize it. Ash shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No keep an eye out," he states. I nod. This should be the last part of the tunnel. Then we'll be done. At this point we aren't even sure who'll get the plan. After all plans go to shit in the hunger games. Ours shouldn't be any different.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I catch the slightest shift in the shadows to out right. It takes me a second to recognize the person but then I'm pushing Ash away.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Run. Run!! RUN!!" I yell. Ash turns and sprints for it. The clash of a tomahawk close to my head makes me want to piss myself. The tunnels are too tight. One of us is going to get hurt. And I can't get out my throwing knives when running this fast.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Get outside!!" I yell. Ash obeys. He turns a sharp right and I follow. This leads out towards where I had a building almost collapse on me. We both run out into the bright light shielding our eyes as we run.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Keep running!!" I yell. Ash obeys and we are both pounding pavement. I'm sprinting and I almost laugh. We're going to live. That's when I notice Ash isn't beside me. I turn around to see he's hit the ground. He must have tripped. I get my knifes out faster than I knew possible. I throw a knife at the tribute that has been chasing us as he throws his tomahawk.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's a perfect throw for both of us. My hit is straight in the forehead. The victor is immediately out. The cannon blasts once. Ash has an axe in his back but he'll be dead in seconds.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm immediately by his side. I don't touch the axe and I don't comfort him. Neither will do him any good.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm sorry. I didn't...," I begin. I can the tears threatening to leak. I refuse their release.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's okay. You could've killed me days ago. I'd be dead if it weren't for you," he said laughing. It didn't sound the way he usually laughed. <em>Because he is dying. </em>I have to stop my thoughts there.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hey. You have to win now. The plan. Do the plan. And when you win. Tell my family what they need to know," Ash is saying. His sentences are getting slower and his eyes are closing.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It was a good run," he says. A cannon fires. Then he is gone. I stare at him for a second than kiss his forehead. I go and check the guy who killed Ash. It turns out to be a girl. The one from 5.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I take the axe out of his back and place it beside him. He holds his backpack tightly in his hand. I take out the supplies I need. <em>He would want me to take it, </em>I have to remind myself. Then I turn him over. He looks the same but smaller more like a child then an adult. Except he is a child. I take out his camouflage rock, still leaving me one for the plan. I don't know what to do but honor him I wrote on my arm, <b><em>ASH. </em></b></span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I drag it across my face so that I have the dark camouflage across my eyes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn't looks beautiful like he should. It makes him look tough and strong. The way Ludd made me look. I place the small throwing knife in his hand and close his fist around it. He looks like the warrior he was.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can hear the hovercraft so, with a final goodbye I walk off. The plan had to work now. The plan that relied so much on luck. Something that I have been lacking recently.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">However now the two things needed to start the plan have happened. There are less than 4 people and I'm alone. Other than Yohan but Yohan isn't part of the plan. Ash was. I shake my head. I'm done thinking about Ash for now. When the games are over I will cry for days but for now I can't.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Part one of the plan is simple. I have to get to the building and wait. I recognize Ash's black X on the outside of the building. Small and subtle enough that no one would think twice of the X. I walked inside and sat my stuff down. There was a moment to myself.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What are Tam and Ludd thinking? Do they understand the plan. Do they want me to do this. Do they think I'm crazy? I think I'm crazy. Or going crazy. Or will be crazy.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What about my family and my friends? Will Nox and Alex be able to look at me knowing I have killed other people. Will my brother still love me when he's seen me stab someone through the chest. Am I making my family proud? Or am I tearing them apart?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm terrified of the arena but I'm even more terrified of outside the arena. If I won I'd have to talk to Ash's parents. I'd have to mentor people that would die in these same games. Whatever happened I would never be the same again. How can you be happy after the games?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The rumbling of the building above breaks my thoughts. Now is my one chance. It's now or never. The building begins breaking apart and I roll into the small crack leading to the the tunnels under the building. I roll for a few more meters before stopping. The tunnel behind me collapses and I check the cameras that were down here to make sure they have broken. Thankfully they have. Then I pull off my back pack and start a small fire to burn through the metal tracker.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I bite on the jacket I'm wearing so I don't make any noise. Then I burn. My arm hurts at first but soon after it stops hurting from too much pain. The second I have the bracelet off I put out the small fire. I pray no one has seen it behind the stones and rubble around me. I throw the bracelet off into the rubble pile. My arm feels like death itself. I almost laugh. What if I die from a burn after all this? I search through my bag with my one good hand.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The medicine Tam gave me. I rub it all over the burn. I can smell my own cooked flesh. The medicine helps the pain a little but it is still unbearable. However I have to keep moving. Next I take off the hoody I was given. The blanket will keep me warm so I don't need the hoody anyways. I put it on one of the rocks so that it looks like my body in case a camera comes back on.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I put as much camouflage on me as possible until I am certain people will think what I need them to do. A cannon goes off over head. I have successfully faked my own death.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I am now dead.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Let me give you the bread," Chaff says to Haymitch. It's another act of rebellion in many ways. The districts don't share. This is a year of firsts.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Chaff gives Haymitch the sponsor papers for the bread that was going to be sent to Rue. Haymitch leaves the room. No one talks. Johanna doesn't mention my crush. Finnick doesn't crack jokes. We are all silent.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rue was too young. And too full of life. Now she's dead. Another mark on the Capitol. The tributes have had plans against the Capitol for years but Rue's death has been a spark. A tiny spark that we could just as easily lose as use.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But people realize that a child's death is wrong. They know something needs to change. Underneath all our sadness is a fire that craves justice. Justice we will have.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch walks back into the room as Katniss gets the bread. Katniss looks confused as she opens the parachuted gift. She pulls out the bread. She seems to recognize the crescent of grain.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"My thanks to the people of District 11," she says with her face directly pointed at the camera. Then she has scaled a tree without another word. I put a hand lightly on Chaff's shoulder. A question <em>are you okay</em>.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Chaff puts a hand on my hand. <em>Yes</em>. I'm thankful. I need Chaff to be okay or I won't be either. Chaff and I have a relationship that basically is both of us teasing each other constantly but actually caring very deeply to the point that are moods depend on the other persons.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nothing of too much interest happens the rest of the day. We all get a little drunk but not drunk enough to forget what needs to be done. I end up crashing on the couch with Chaff.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We wake up when the anthem plays. There are no deaths tonight but an announcement. We watch the screen with curiosity.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The mentors are told most information the same time as the outside world or the tributes themselves most of the time. Which is a pain to work with.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A new rule they say.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There are no new rules in the Capitol; it is a trick.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Both tributes from a district will be announced as dual winners if they both make it to the end," the announcement says. I glance at Haymitch and we meet eyes. There's a second we hold each other gaze.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's a lie," Johanna says. I nod in agreement. Then I glance at the screen where Katniss has screamed Peeta's name.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They don't know that," I state. Everyone in the room is suddenly nervous for them. These games will not end well. The games never end well. But these will be worse.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The night goes on and I help Haymitch with paperwork.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You send the boy anything?" I ask Haymitch. Haymitch shakes his head slightly. I don't press the matter because I've hardly noticed the boy either. After he left the careers he's done nothing but hide painted by a river. He's lucky to be breathing in the state he is in. Haymitch has chosen Katniss to help and I doubt the boy even minds he's so in love with her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch and I work quietly as the night wears on. Finnick and Johanna both fall asleep at their desk while Chaff takes the couch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You should sleep," I tell Haymitch. I already know that he won't. I can't remember the last time one of his tributes has made it this far. Let alone two. He will work until he literally collapses.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I can't. I just... Can't," he says. I nod and we hold eye contact. We both realize what the other is thinking and have a moment of understanding.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Just remember you don't function as well when your drunk or tired as shit," I say. Haymitch nods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Morning eventually comes. I realize how long it's been since I was outside and I crave it. The Capitol makes me feel too cramped. I want to run around somewhere.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With morning Katniss leaves her tree but I don't pay too much attention. Today Haymitch and Chaff will have their first interviews about their tributes. I have only ever been interviewed twice for the two tributes I had that made to the top 5.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I go and get breakfast for everyone. I pile a tray high with bread and fruits for breakfast. I grab a few of the sweet Capital breakfast foods for the others but none for myself. Then I put on everyone's drink orders. A hot chocolate for Finnick and I. Black coffee for Haymitch. Coffee with milk for Chaff. Coffee with Vanilla for Johanna.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I bring the tray back to the room. Everyone is just now waking up except for Haymitch who has simply gone to standing instead of sitting. The drinks are gone first and then everyone grabs different breakfast breads. I grab one of the Croissants known commonly in the Capitol. Then I have one of the sweet fruits called Mangos.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My attention returns to the screens. Katniss jumps as she almost steps on Peeta. Peeta looks bad. I'll be surprised if he lives through the day. Katniss seems to realize this pretty fast. Peeta however doesn't let this effect him and keeps making jokes with Katniss.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss begins the long process of cleaning Peeta up. She has to wash the intense camouflage off of him so she can see the damage done to him. Which is significant. There are burns, Tracker Jacker stings, and a deep cut on his leg.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I look down at my own leg. I was lucky to have gotten cut where I did. It's much easier to have a below the knee amputation then a below the hip amputation. If Peeta somehow managed to win he would probably have to cut off his whole leg. Which would limit his movement significantly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Peeta seems to have a fever. Katniss notices it immeaditly the lacking of eating and hot skin all adds up. Peeta is in terrible shape. Katniss cleans up his top half first which goes well.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then comes the bottom. Even through the screen I'm disgusted. His leg looks terrible and Katniss is at a lost as to what to do. Peeta tries to help and is a way better patient then I would be.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Most of Peeta's clothes are drying and Katniss needs to clean his underwear. I almost laugh at her innocent reaction. She blushes red and asks him to cover himself. Peeta seems to find it funny too.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'd be no better. The games had kind of messed up my idea of love. I had kissed a few guys from my district and the Capitol but that was it. There had been a time in my life where to get sponsor money I had kissed them or given a hand to use for their own desires. Yet that was over and I would never have done it if it weren't for the fact that tributes need money from sponsors and that's what the sponsors wanted. It didn't count in my book as doing anything- I'd never slept with anyone or cared about any of them- it wasn't a relationship. They didn't understand what I had seen, what I had been through. A voice in the back of my head nagged me, <em>Haymitch understands. Haymitch won't use you.</em></span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I wish I had let you give Haymicth a shower after all," the voice pulls me out of my thoughts. Peeta's talking. Katniss looks disgusted. Everyone looks at Haymitch who has only the slightest blush on him as he shrugs nonchalantly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What's he sent you so far?" Katniss asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Not a thing," says Peeta. Then there's a pause as he catches up. "Why, did you get something?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Burn medicine," Katniss mutters sheepishly. "Oh, and some bread."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I always knew you were his favorite," says Peeta. Haymitch looks away guiltly. Everyone feels as though we're intruding.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Please, he can't stand being in the same room with me," Katniss says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Because you're just alike," mutters Peeta. The second he says it I see it. They're both smart and too rebellious for their own good. They have the same bad camera presence and if Katniss wins I can see her in the same spot as Haymitch. Then my face screws up. Haymitch was the way he was because of what happened after the games. Prim was practically a celebrity it wouldn't happen to her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then they're off doing more stuff.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I've lost focus in the games. I'm talking with Johanna and Finnick when Haymitch fists pumps the sky. I glance up to see a repeat of Peeta and Katniss's kiss.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Now I can get some sponsors!" He says with a laugh. He runs off to talk with Effie or turn in forms or something.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch turns out to be right. The star crossed lovers works better than anything I've ever seen before.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They will have to play it up. To be very in love. Something that Katniss and I both have no clue how to do.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">To be honest I hadn't thought the plan would work. Or I doubted it would because now I had faked my own death and was alone in the dark tunnels and didn't know what to do.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I wish Ash was here. He was smart he would know what to do next. He could think ahead. I was all ideas and no actual follow through.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventaully I decide that I would have to be near where the winner was so that I could come out and kill them when they thought they had won. I had been through the tunnels enough to know how to get to the exit closest to the Cornucopia. I stayed to the shadows as much as I could.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually I got to an area that was too bright. I'd have to wait for night.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Waiting is unbearable in the games because you can physically feel the clock ticking to your death. Plus your thoughts immeadiatly go to all the bad things you've seen or done. I shake my head trying to clear my thoughts but it doesn't work.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I have killed two people and watched as another one died in my arms. I had failed Ash. I wonder if I could ever look someone in the face after the games. How does Tam do it?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I realize that most of them can't do it. The blonde guy who won the Quarter Quell drinks more than his own body weight. The other victor from 10, Buck, hadn't said or done anything since his games. Tam who appears to be quiet and calm has no friends, family, or even a wife. It definitely effects people.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The day changes agonizingly slow to night and moves on. By the time I am in position near the exit the sky has lit up. It shows the face of the girl I killed first, then it shows my face; I have to pinch my arm to remember I am alive, and then it shows Ash's face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I am "dead" now so it doesn't matter if I cry. So I do as softly as possible. The sky however stays lit up after the deaths.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Tomorrow morning we will have a feast," the voice says. That is all. The feast will be the end of everyone. Yohan must need food pretty badly otherwise the option wouldn't have come up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That leads me with another dilemma. If Yohan is going to fight two careers shouldn't I go save him. <em>No because then you two might have to decide who wins.</em> I'd have to kill Yohan. I won't do that.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But I shouldn't let him die either. I think about this as hard as I can before passing out. Today has been long and hard.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hardly anything has happened in the games. Peeta and Katniss have mostly been doing their own romance thing. Thresh has done what he's been doing most of the games. Eating food and looking intimidating. I like him though. I'd like him to win as much if not more than the star crossed lovers.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">District 2 could be worse. They've lost most their food but they still have their equipment and weapons.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I spend the day trying to help Haymitch and Chaff. Haymitch and Chaff have been interviewed again today. I try taking breaks to nap or get food with Finnick and Johanna. The day goes by unbearably slow. All of the tension leading towards the final bloodbath beginning. This game would definitely end in lots of blood.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There is another announcement. A feast. I zone out after they announce it and remember my own games and the feast. When I'm back to reality I'm hiding under the table well Haymitch and Chaff are talking quietly to me. Neither of them dates touch me- it's hard to know what memory someone is reacting to and if it's a violent one then you can get hurt.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The feast is for the thing you need most. Katniss and Peeta need medicine. Thresh needs a weapon. 5 needs food. District 2 could be anything but it's probably some kind of weapon.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss and Peeta argue about if Katniss can go or not for a few minutes before Katniss walks out in anger.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch jumps up and off to turn in sponsor papers. Everyone watches in curiously for a moment before returning their own stuff. Then Haymitch runs back into the room as a parachute lands by Katniss.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss opens it and seems annoyed by the contents. I can only tell it looks like a vial of something.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What is it?" Chaff asks in his deep voice.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Sleep syrup. It'll knock Peeta out so Katniss can get the medicine," Haymitch says and as he says it Katniss seems to realize what to use the syrup for. She runs off to get it ready.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch and Katniss are on the same wavelength in many ways. There ability to know what the other is thinking without having to say anything is a skill I have never had with one of my tributes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss mixes a drink to cover the syrups taste. She brings it back to Peeta and manages to knock him out. She then starts about the task of concealing the cave. She does a decent job but I'm sure Peeta could do better.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then she stays for a little before getting up to go to the feast. Everyone else is preparing too. 5 is nearby and quietly stretching. Thresh waits patiently in the fields. District 2 stays where it has always been. Down by the lake only a short distance from the cornucopia.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The morning comes slowly and all the mentors are brought coffee and hot cocoa. Despite my hate for coffee I take one. I'll need it to stay awake. Everyone else but Finnick grabs coffee. Finnick, ever the sweet tooth, takes the hot chocolate.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The second the table appears 5 has run across and taken her bag before running into the forest. The other district's faces are priceless as they watch in a mix of anger and admiration.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss seems to realize this is her chance and sprints to the table. 2's girl is close by though. She throws a knife that is too close to Katniss for comfort. Katniss shoots an arrow into her left arm. This only slows 2 as she throws another knife.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss reaches the table and grabs her bag before turning to run. 2's knife Knicks her face though. It causes a gush of blood but the injury is superficial.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The girl slams into Katniss and knocks her onto the ground. The problem that lots of careers have begins. The careers like to play with their prey giving them a chance to fight back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Where's your boyfriend, District Twelve? Still hanging on?" 2 asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He's out there now. Hunting Cato," Katniss snarls at her. Then she screams at the top of her lungs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Peeta!"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's a smart trick but turns out to be worthless when 2 realizes Peeta is not coming. She continues to brag though.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Liar," she says with a grin. "He's nearly dead. Cato knows where he cut him. You've probably got him strapped up in some tree while you try to keep his heart going. What's in the pretty little backpack? That medicine for Lover Boy? Too bad he'll never get it." 2 opens her jacket. It's lined with an array of knives. I'm impressed by it. I wish I had more weapons when I was in the games. She carefully selects an almost dainty-looking curved blade. "I promised Cato if he let me have you, I'd give the audience a good show."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's too much talking. She's bragging. She's going to slip up. Something would flip. You can't brag in the games. Katniss continues to try and move out from under 2 but with no avail.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Forget it, District Twelve. We're going to kill you. Just like we did your pathetic little ally ... what was her name? The one who hopped around in the trees? Rue? Well, first Rue, then you, and then I think we'll just let nature take care of Lover Boy. How does that sound?" Clove asks. "Now, where to start?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can see the blind anger in Chaff's eyes. In everyone's eyes. You can't talk like that about a kid who had to die. Chaff gets up probably to punch in one of 2's mentors faces in. I grab his arm at the same time as Finnick does.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You can't yet. Remember Thresh still needs you," I say. Chaff shakes Finnick and I off him. He crosses his arms and glares daggers a the screen. However he sits back down and we all continue watching the games.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I thank the lord for Thresh because he carries out the rage all of us feel about the mention of Rue. Thresh yanks up 2 and holds her in the air dangling about like a doll.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What'd you do to that little girl? You kill her?" He's shouting. Something I've never heard him do and it shows how powerful he is. This boy can win.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No, it wasn't me!" 2 says but it's too late she has made her bed and now will die in it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You said her name. I heard you. You kill her?" He's absolutely terrifying and I see the fire in him. He seems to have a second thought. "You cut her up like you were going to cut up this girl here?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No! No, I —" Clove sees the stone, that Thresh has been using in the games. She drops the act.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Cato!" she screeches. "Cato!"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Clove!" Cato's answer, but he's too far away. Clove is dead. What was he doing? Why was he so far away. I hadn't been watching his screen.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thresh slams the stone against Clove's head. There's a sickening crack. She will die quickly. Yet she lies in agony.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thresh spins towards Katniss. Katniss doesn't even try to put up a fight. They just stare at each other in strange confusion.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What'd she mean? About Rue being your ally?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I — I — we teamed up. Blew up the supplies. I tried to save her, I did. But he got there first. District One," Katniss says. Thresh sees mercy in this I know.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"And you killed him?" he demands.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yes. I killed him. And buried her in flowers," Katniss says."And I sang her to sleep."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss seems to be breaking apart. There are tears threatening to fall. I understand. There is a dying girl laying beside her, a boy with the power to kill in front of her, and Rue's death. I feel her pain.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"To sleep?" Thresh says in his deep voice.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"To death. I sang until she died," Katniss replies. "Your district... they sent me bread. Do it fast, okay, Thresh?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Thresh seems to think it over for a second. Then he points at her and says, "Just this one time, I let you go. For the little girl. You and me, we're even then. No more owed. You understand?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss nods. Chaff and Thresh may be just alike as Katniss and Haymitch. They're seemingly gruffness and size. They have had the same thought, to honor Rue's death. I love Katniss and Chaff a little more in that moment then I should.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Clove!" Cato's voice is much nearer now. The shot of Cato shows that he has seen Clove. He is angry and Thresh and Katniss are right in the middle of it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You better run now, Fire Girl," says Thresh. Thresh grabs his and Cato's pack and runs. Meaning Cato will have to follow Thresh. Katniss doesn't take a chance and sprints off.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cato kneels by Clove for a minute before the cannon sounds then he is off after Thresh. Katniss seems scared though and continues sprinting until she is at her little creek. She gives Peeta his medicine before passing out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The mentors room has once again become silent. I am scared for everyone in the games. I keep finding myself attached to the tributes and it's ripping me apart. The only one who seems okay is Haymitch who smiles at his finally okay star crossed lovers. I get up and crash onto the couch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch joins me and we lay next to each other; not wrapped around each other like before. Not him holding me together; not all pain and tears. Just with our backs touching and sharing blankets and heat. I immediately pass out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The night is slower than I remember. I wonder if Yohan is getting ready for tomorrow morning. I wonder if he even has a chance. It's the first night in the games that I can't sleep.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The outside world seems like a distant memory. More like a dream then something that actually happens. I try to remember my family's face but I can't picture them. All I can picture is the last look Yohan gave me before we left. A strange goodbye look and the look Ash gave me before he died.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I pull out some of the last bits of food for a small breakfast. A few pieces of dried fruit, my last two crackers, and some of the vegetables that Ash had shown me. The games will have to end soon or I will starve.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The light of morning comes eventually. The sky is glorious streaked in golds, pinks, and light blues. The sunrise is beautiful. It is ironic that this is a day that will be soaked in blood.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">From my spot in the tunnel I can see the Cornucopia. In the morning light I can tell that there is no food left. What happened to it? I wonder what everyone else had done for food then. I continue watching the Cornucopia for any movement.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly a loud snap is heard and a table rises out of the ground. The table has hardly any food. A single turkey roasted to perfection, a loaf of bread, and a basket of apples.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite the small amount of food I understand why someone would kill for it. I could use some meat that hasn't been dried and bread is a luxury that I had almost forgotten. The apples looked fresh and deliocus even from a distance.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I debate running for it now before deciding it wouldn't be worth blowing my cover for. I see Yohan appear out of nowhere. He sprints and grabs the loaf of bread and apples. He shoves both in the bag before grabbing the turkey. District 1 runs around the corner of the Cornucopia. The girl who I recognize as the heartless killer from training has taken aim with a bow but her shots are not good so she drops the bow and sprints after him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yohan doesn't even try to run. He turns to face them pulling out a small axe to fight with. The careers are better stocked though. He has only the slightest chance well out numbered. I debate running out to help him as the first strike comes down.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yohan fights expertly parrying hits and dodging stabs. He is fantastic but still losing when fighting two people. I debate for one more second before I feel my hands pull out my throwing knives. I grasp one and toss it slightly on my palm. Then I sprint out of the tunnel and throw the knife.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It is a great hit. Right between the shoulder blades. District 1's male is dust. He won't be able to recover from this.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">District 1's female takes her chance and gets a solid stab to Yohan's torso well he is distracted. I grab my other knife and throw it out her. It hits her upper leg. She is slower now but still not giving up. She has assumed Yohan for dead and is going for me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I thought you were dead," she says. I give the biggest wolf like smile. I even let out a laugh as I take out my sword.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You can't trust everything you hear," I reply. I recognize the sword she carries, it is practically identical to mine. The only difference is the stain of blood on it. I doubt she's even cleaned it off.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That's okay, I can arrange for your death to be more permanent," she growls before throwing a stab at me. I jump away from her and she stumbles after me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She throws a wide swing this time which I block easily but she changed directions after I block and I get a cut across my leg, just around the knee. It's deep and I'm afraid it had reached bone. I let out a curse. Then I jump back a few feet the landing hurts my now barely holding on leg.She staggers forward again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This time I take the offense. I slam down the weight of my sword switching the direction at the last second. It gets her good in the ribs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A cannon goes off if it is Yohan or District 1 I don't know.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">1 has recovered easily. The games will end here and soon. She throws a swing that cuts deep across my chin and lips. My mouth is greeted by the taste of metallic blood. I spit it out before turning back to 1.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm angry and tired of the games. Yet I can't let that take over my ability to fight. She was hurt worse than I was. It was all waiting her out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except Yohan might still be alive and I had to talk to him before he died. To tell him.... Something. I don't know I just felt like we weren't finished yet.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I parry another hit from 1. She knocks my sword from my hand. She must expect me to receive it again because she does not even try to block me when I throw myself against her throwing her sword away. We are wrestling on the ground.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It is more savage without weapons. She pins me down easily her career training has made her much stronger than me. She pulls a chunk of my hair out. I throw sand in her eyes. She screams and reaches for them allowing me a moment to fight back. I pull the knife from her leg and she realizes her mistake immediately.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The small throwing knife goes straight through her heart.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I attempt to push her off of on top of me. She weighs a lot or I am weak. I manage to roll her off of me and another cannon goes off. I leave the knife. There is no need for it now. I run over to where Yohan is.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He is still alive. But he is definitely dying. He looks up at me weakly. He no longer looks gorgeous like before. He looks sick and broken. Yet he manages a small smile.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The Defeater of Death. I doubt I'll be getting the title however it seems you will," he says. His voice is weak and shaky when he talks. His skin is strangely grey looking for someone as tan as him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't know what to do," I admit. Yohan smiles at me chuckling ever so slightly even though it seems painful.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Well you've won the games so who cares. You'll be richer than anyone else in 10," Yohan smiles.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You know something? Nox and I were best friends back in 10. He would always talk about you. He said you and I would get along. Better yet he said we would have fallen in love. Who knows if that is true but we did get on well didn't we?" Yohan says. It's too much at once for me. The blood covering my body and my friend dying in front of me and telling me stuff that doesn't make sense.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We were perfect Yohan," I say. He smiles and nods in agreement.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Plus first and second! Tam must be thrilled. Take care of my family please," Yohan says. I nod. I can hardly speak at this point and Yohan's eyes are going slowly into he abyss.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Take care of them, Red. And take care of yourself," Yohan says. Then a cannon sounds and he's gone. I try to stand up to go away but my leg isn't working. There are tears running down my face and I'm sobbing as the announcers voice come across the arena.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The winner of the 59th Hunger Games, Red Odinsteed!!" He says. I don't even look up I'm sobbing so hard. The games have already broken me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I think my leg is gone. The blood is all over me and I can hardly breathe. It's too hot and everything smells and taste like hot metal. The bodies in front of me become engrained into my mind just like everything else that has happened. I stare into the camera for a second before collapsing to the ground.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone is tired at this point in the games. Finnick and Johanna leave to get a real day of rest in beds. Chaff and Haymitch don't have that luxury so I stay to help them. They are both stretched out on the couch. There is hardly room for the two of them. This means that limbs are draping over each other and off the edges.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I find my camera and take a picture of them. The people I have the most photographs of are Chaff, Haymitch, Finnick, Johanna, and Mags. Finnick was great for photos because of how generally gorgeous he is. Johanna has the ability to show one hundred percent of her personality in a photo. Mags is adorable in photos. Chaff was great always making up stupid poses and making silly faces. Yet he also had a good face and looked handsome in serious photos.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then there was Haymitch. Haymitch was quite possibly my favorite person to photograph. This probably has to do with the fact that he hates photos. Yet he has a good face when he isn't drunk or using his façade. He has quite possibly the greatest eyes for photography; bright blue that shown in contrast to just about everything.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I took another couple photos of Chaff and Haymitch before returning my attention to the games.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's like the bread. How I never seem to get over owing you for that," Katniss voices brings my attention. Thresh and Cato were off hiding and fighting somewhere and 5 was hiding from the downpour.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The bread? What? From when we were kids?" Peeta says. This story sounds real and I debate waking Haymitch for a minute. "I think we can let that go. I mean, you just brought me back from the dead."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"But you didn't know me. We had never even spoken. Besides, it's the first gift that's always the hardest to pay back. I wouldn't even have been here to do it if you hadn't helped me then," Katniss says. I had seen the poverty of District 12, I did not doubt that she could have starved. "Why did you, anyway?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why? You know why," Peeta replies. Katniss looks confused but I get it. It is because he loves her. "Haymitch said you would take a lot of convincing."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Haymitch?" Katniss asks. "What's he got to do with it?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Nothing," Peeta says. I'm intrigued now. Haymitch and Peeta obviously had a plan. I knew that they had the whole star crossed lovers story but what else was Haymitch hiding up his sleeve.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"So, Cato and Thresh, huh? I guess it's too much to hope that they'll simultaneously destroy each other?" Peeta continues. I glance up at the screen were Thresh and Cato are dancing around each other in hiding.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I think we would like Thresh. I think he'd be our friend back in District Twelve," Katniss says. I glance at Haymitch and Chaff. They definitely would have been friends.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Then let's hope Cato kills him, so we don't have to,"says Peeta. It's a morbid thought but I understand where he's coming from.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The rest of the day is slow. Not with enough action for this far in the game. The only thing holding them out is the Chaff and Cato fight.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Either that or he's got very generous sponsors," Peeta's voice breaks through my thoughts. "I wonder what we'd have to do to get Haymitch to send us some bread."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I get up and wake up Haymitch. He groans something but stops once he sees me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Something happening?" He asks sitting up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm guessing the romance will be heating up soon," I state. Haymitch gives a crooked smile and takes his seat back at his desk.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Good that's what I need." Haymitch smirks. I'm worried. Haymitch's cleverness will always have to be paid back. I'm starting to worry that the star crossed lovers will be paid back in blood.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I turn out to be wrong and the "lovers" don't end up doing better anything too romantic. They get close though. Katniss just needs to say a little bit more and then Haymitch will have everything he needs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You can go back to bed now. I can watch," I state to Haymitch. He shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No I won't be able to get anymore sleep now," he says. I nod but I make no move to go to sleep myself.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch sees my camera and picks up. "Been taking photos of Chaff and I again?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I always do."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch chuckled and turns to me he holds up the camera and takes a photo of me. He examines it and smiles. "Once you get all your photos back give me this one."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I mutter an okay. The games are quiet tonight other than the increasing flood of rain and the constant crash of Thunder. Haymitch and I sit next to each other. I'm reminded of what I told Johanna and I flush.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I think they could win," Haymitch's voice says and I'm thankful to get out of the thoughts I was having.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They definitely could. The question is if they actually will," I say back. He nods in agreement. There were still five people. It could still change. "If they win I'll be able to see you on the victory tour."</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Immediately after saying it I regret the last sentence. For many reasons one being how flirty it sounded. Two being the fact it made me feel shallow. To care more about Haymitch then the kids that could die from this.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch chuckles ever so slightly glancing away from the screen to meet my gaze. "We'll see how this goes then."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I tear away from his eyes and thank god for the fact it's quiet dark in here. Hopefully Haymitch hasn't noticed the dark red color of my face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone is sleeping in the games. It's surprisingly boring right now. I don't even know what to do with myself. We had done most of the sponsor paperwork. Talking seemed like the main option.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"How's 12?" I ask Haymitch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't know. Shitty, but that's how it always is. I still love 12," Haymitch says. I nod. Haymitch loves 12 something fierce despite the fact the people there didn't exactly like him. "How's 10?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Also shitty. But I don't like it much anymore. It's bad memories everywhere I go. I'd leave if I could," I say back. I can feel Haymitch's eyes on me even though it's dark.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Where would you go?" He asks. I have to think about that. I had been to every district during my victory tour and then again for one of my more likable photo projects. Now I went on every Victory Tour for photos. So I knew what it was like outside of 10.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I really enjoyed 4. The ocean, the beaches, and I like hanging out with Finnick," I say eventaully. I loved the beach. I met Mags, Finnick, and Annie there for my project. I became close to all three of them and found myself loving the place. Plus the people were much happier there. Not starving the way everyone was in 10.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You like Finnick?" Haymitch asks hesitantly. I turn to face him. One look at his face and I know he's serious. I can't help but laugh at the idea.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No. I don't like Finnick. He's far too much of a pretty boy for me. And too young. Plus he's already with someone," I reply. Haymitch nods thoughtfully.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There's silence for another moment and I watch Thresh hiding in the wheat from an angry Cato.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Chaff?" He asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Chaff what?" I reply.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Do you like Chaff?" He asks again. I shake my head no.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hell no. I love Chaff but not that way. He's like my giant menacing best friend," I reply. Haymitch nods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then he stays quiet for a while.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You should get some rest."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I take in his words before nodding and joining Chaff on the couch. I'm fading out but I can't help but think that he knows I like him. He's too smart to have not figured it out. Then I'm asleep.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nightmares tonight. Today the dream is different. I'm in a forest and there are voices calling from every side of me. I hear my family on my right, friends in left, the tributes I have had are in front of me, and there is silence is behind me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My family is still alive. I run as fast as I can towards them. I enter a meadow just as I see my brother fall to the ground dead. My tributes are screaming now and I sprint towards them but once again I am too late. Finally I make it to my friends only to discover they are dead. The forest is silent.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red. Red. Come on kid," Chaff's voice wakes me up. I'm covered in sweat but otherwise okay. Chaff is looking worriedly at me. It seems to be the next day. Finnick and Johanna are back. Haymitch is gone.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What's happening?" I manage to ask groggily. Chaff points at the screen as a parachute falls. The other screen is a huge battle between Thresh and 2.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The fight between Thresh and 2 are really heating up. I'm afraid someone will die momentarily," he says. Then he continues on, "before you ask Haymitch has gone to get some sponsor stuff sent."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I manage a nod. I'm glad he woke me up. I need to see the games this year. Because something about this year seems almost revolutionary.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On the other screen 2 gets a good hit on Thresh and he falls to the ground. Thresh manages a strong hit towards 2 but it is too late. 2 has won this battle. A cannon booms but it sounds no different then the thunder outside.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm angry. No not angry. I'm too far gone to be angry. I'm pissed. Any sleepiness from waking up has been replaced. I'm in a blind rage. All mania, passion, and temper rampaging through me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I run out of the the room. Finnick makes a weak attempt to grab me. I dodge him and sprint into the hallway. I turn the corner towards the game makers and run straight into Haymitch. He takes one look at me and asks what happened.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thresh is dead!! Everyone's dead, Haymicth. I'm tired of it. I've sent twenty six kids to their death. Twenty. Six. Plus I killed four in the games! That's 30 kid's blood on my hands. Yet the Capitol and President Snow don't care. They don't care that my life is fucked and that people have died. We have the strength and passion for a revo-" Haymitch slams me into a wall with surpising strength.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red!" His voice is barely above a whisper but carries the intensity of a yell. "You want to die? You can't say stuff like that. Especially not here. We're all angry. Keep it together. Now get back inside."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm still seething inside. I push Haymitch off me. Yet I don't go inside. I wonder the halls for an hour until eventually I found my way up on to the roof. I rip the shitty prosthetic off and slam it down next to me. Then I stare off at a city of blood thirsty animals. I'm angry and I'm sad and mostly I'm dead on the inside just like all those kids.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red," someone's voice reaches me and I try to sit up but feel a hand push me back down. I manage to crack my eyes open. Too bright. Then my eyes are closed again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every part of me feels like death. I wonder for a second if I am dead. No it wouldn't hurt so much if I was dead. It's like being stabbed with thousands of knives. The thought brings images of the games to my head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">How many had I killed? The boy from two. The girl who killed Ash. The boy and girl from 1. That is four in all. Not counting Ash and Yohan.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red." The voice calls again. I take a gulp of air and open my eyes all the way. I'm blinded by the white interior of what I can only guess is one of the fancy Capitol hospitals. Tam sits in a chair by me. He smiles at me, it's the first time I've seen him smile.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red. You're awake which is very good news. I was worried about you for a minute there," Tam admits. I try to say something but my throat is too dry and I can hardly speak.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I suppose you're confused," he says. I manage something similar to a yes. I'm glancing around the small room I'm in. I look down to see my injuries. I hardly notice the terrible Mark covering my wrist in purple scars. My leg. My leg is gone from the knee down. Completely gone.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Your leg had earned an infection. You are lucky to be alive. A missing leg could be worse," Tam says. I hardly register the words. I try to wiggle my toes but there is nothing there.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You won the games Red. But you are still playing. Snow will be here soon. Be ready," Tam whispers and then he's gone and I'm left with a gap where my leg was.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm still staring at my leg when someone walks in. I don't even glance at them. If they were here to kill me I would not stop them. Not because of the leg. I can deal with no leg. I couldn't live with four deaths on my hands and Ash and Yohan's face staring at me in death.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're uh Red right?" The person says gruffly. I don't know his voice. I glance up at him. It's the boy who won the Quarter Quell. Though he hardly looks like the boy on tv. The boy who was handsome without even trying and whose moodiness worked for him. The boy, who was now a man, has bags under his eyes and a heavy five O'clock shadow. Plus he has to be something like 10 years older than me. He looks like he hasn't slept in weeks. He has blonde hair hanging over his eyes so that his whole face is in shadows. Yet he looks enough like Ash that I know that he must have been his mentor.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His gruff demeanor he usually carries shifts ever so slightly. He speaks once again. "I wanted to thank you for helping the boy-"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ash," I interrupt.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ash. I realize you could've just killed him and been done with it but I'm glad you didn't. I'm sorry about the leg. If it makes you feel better one of my best friends has only one hand and he still does fine with everything."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Anyways I'm sure we will meet again," he states then puts a piece of something on the table and quickly leaves the room. I open the small package he has brought me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A small piece of cake sits. Despite being packaged it has retained it's shape and still looks delicious. I vaguely remember before the games in my interview saying I would do anything for cake. I eat all of it at once and then the doctors are in to see me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️⬛️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Chaff falls asleep after his rage has cooled down. Finnick and Johanna go for food. This leaves Haymitch and I alone other than Chaff's snoring figure. I sit next to him like the night before and we watch the screen with Katniss and Peeta occasionally switching to 2 and 5.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We sat in silence listening to Peeta and Katniss conversation instead of making our own.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"So, since we were five, you never even noticed any other girls?" Katniss asks Peeta. This is good for Haymitch. The lovers needed to be Katniss and Peeta's routine.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No, I noticed just about every girl, but none of them made a lasting impression but you," Peeta says. I want to laugh; that's very close to what I had said to Caesar all those years ago.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm sure that would thrill your parents, you liking a girl from the Seam," Katniss says. Ash had originally told me about the Seam but Haymitch told me more. Haymitch was a seam kid too. Then I visited during one of my exhibits.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hardly. But I couldn't care less. Anyway, if we make it back, you won't be a girl from the Seam, you'll be a girl from the Victor's Village," Peeta says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I think of my house in 10's Victor's Village. It was threateningly empty. My house and Buck's house were the only filled houses. Tam's house was still full of all his old stuff. No one dared go in there other than me on occasion. The houses were huge but the best part of them was the huge garden that came with them. District 10 was about 99% dirt and sand. The Village had beautiful gardens though. With real grass and flowers.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"But then, our only neighbor will be Haymitch!" Katniss says in disgust. I can't help but laugh and Haymitch shoots me a glare.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ah, that'll be nice," says Peeta. I keep laughing at Haymitch's annoyed face. "You and me and Haymitch. Very cozy. Picnics, birthdays, long winter nights around the fire retelling old Hunger Games' tales."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I told you, he hates me!" Katniss says, but she's laughing. I'm laughing at the idea of Haymitch at picnics and Birthday parties acting like a normal person. Haymitch groans and scoots further down into his chair.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Only sometimes. When he's sober, I've never heard him say one negative thing about you," says Peeta. I'm watching Haymitch in interest. I had never heard him say one bad word about any tribute with a chance. Even if there wasn't a chance he wouldn't trash talk them because all his rage went to President Snow.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He's never sober!" Katniss protests.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That's right. Who am I thinking of? Oh, I know. It's Cinna who likes you. But that's mainly because you didn't try to run when he set you on fire," says Peeta. I'm laughing now. This kid is funny. Haymitch even has a slight smile on his face. "On the other hand, Haymitch ... well, if I were you, I'd avoid Haymitch completely. He hates you."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I thought you said I was his favorite," Katniss says. I'm watching Haymitch in the light of the glowing screens. His reaction is fairly neutral.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He hates me more," says Peeta. "I don't think people in general are his sort of thing."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This is true. Haymitch liked people from a distance. He liked watching people but actual interaction wasn't his thing. Finnick and I pretty much carried the whole groups social image and I didn't even do that well. Everyone else was less useful in social situations.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I wonder what Katniss is thinking about Haymitch. How he manages it all? The drinking, the sending kids to their death, the loneliness, the stress? All on his own? Or maybe she's thinking about Haymitch's plans? There are billion options.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"How do you think he did it?" Katniss asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Who? Did what?" Peeta asks back in confusion.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Haymitch. How do you think he won the Games?" Katniss says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Peeta and Katniss seem to be thinking this over. I don't know myself. He was in one of the games that they never showed on reruns similar to my own games. I could hardly remember watching it when it was on live. And we didn't talk about our own games as a rule in our relationship. I was struck silent by the fact that I had no idea what his games were like.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yet I know Haymitch. He must have won by being clever. He is handsome but not overly so like Finnick. He's strong but he's not the wall of muscle a career or Chaff is. He couldn't spin the lies like Johanna. He doesn't trust people enough to ever want an alliance. It must have been his cleverness.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He outsmarted the others," says Peeta. They have reached the same conclusion as me. I glance at Haymitch who looks incredibly uncomfortable being talked about.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sometimes in moments filled with silence and glowing screens I could see Haymitch the way he really is. I could see the broken man. I wasn't the only one who felt the pressure of seeing kids die every year and not being able to help. There's a reason why Chaff, Haymitch, and I drink enough for an entire district. Haymitch who had put himself into his own solitude in punishment for what he had done.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We were definitely alike. Both killing in the games, both losing our families afterwards, and turning to some kind of avoidance when death is too much. The difference was I would not let this stop me. I still tried to be happy in my life and stay in shape and be the best I could be. Haymitch however was willing to let himself rot as a punishment.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I don't even notice I've been staring until Haymitch shifts awkwardly in his chair. I blush and attempt an apology before Finnick and Johanna walk back in and Johanna hands me a jar of olives with a wink. I thank her. I turn to the screen as Katniss talks again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thresh is dead," says Peeta.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He can't be."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They must have fired the cannon during the thunder and we missed it," says Peeta. I'm thankful Chaff is asleep because he would be upset again at the mention of Thresh's death.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Are you sure? I mean, it's pouring buckets out there," Katniss says in denial. They figure it out though and I'm surprised by how broken Katniss seems by this. Yet I think she understands. That the games are not about other tributes being enemies. The enemy is Snow sitting somewhere watching in joy.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss goes to sleep and the games are peaceful for a little while. I talk with Johanna for a little while. Then I yawn and admit that I'll be sleeping in a real bed tonight.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'll walk you to your room," Haymitch says. I nod my thanks and we head out together. <em>I'll walk you to your room</em> is a codeword for we need to talk.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't hate Katniss and Peeta," he says once we are out of the room. I chuckle.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I knew that. We aren't complete strangers," I reply. Haymitch nods but continues on.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I know we don't talk about our games but I think you deserve an explanation. Obviously not a full one, that'd take too long. But I can tell you a short one," Haymitch says as we approach my room. I hadn't been here other than to change clothes and shower a few times.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They were right. You won by being clever," I state not as a question but as a statement. Haymitch nods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The forcefields by the edges of the arena. They bounced anything you threw at them back. I used it as a weapon... Someone threw an axe at me and I ducked and it flew into the field before bouncing back at them." Haymitch recalls to me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I would expect nothing other than that kind of cleverness," I reply. This doesn't earn a grin though. Instead it earns a sad glance and a goodnight hug. Then he is gone and I'm alone. However I do finally have a real bed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I spend two weeks in the hospital recovering from all my problems. However I will always be different looking then before the games. I lacked half a leg and had a permanent burn scar on my wrist. I had also retained one scar. The most prominent being on the right side of my lip leading to my chin.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Like a patchwork quilt," Tam says to me one day.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thanks that's the look I was going for," I growl back but I don't mean it. Tam had become one of my best friends. My actual family and friends wasn't allowed in the Capitol. Janelle and him were the only two people to ever visit me other than interviewers.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Which I had lots of. Interviews were the only way I could talk to people. I would have a late Victory ceremony because of my injury but had to keep up public appearances. Tam still warned me of Snow's coming.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't know when he'll come or what he'll say but I assure you he will come," Tam stated calmly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"When can I go home?" I asked Tam. Tam smiled and shrugged.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was generally lonely with Tam being my only real friend. I had seen 12's victor but one time and I was bored and alone. But mostly sad, I had lost two friends in the games and lost my own leg and wasn't allowed to go home yet. I was scared but still couldn't cry. Even though they said the games were over I stayed living like they weren't.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red," Tam's voice reached me from down the hallway.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Down here Tam!!" I yelled back. I had just finished today's physical therapy and was walking better already. Tam hobbled around the corner with another mentor, I had seen her on TV.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red. This is a good friend of mine, Mags," Tam said with the slightest blush on his tanned cheeks. I smiled and stood up to greet Mags. I trusted Tam's judgement of people, I immediately liked Mags too.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hello," I say to Mags.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Nice to meet you," she greets back more friendly than most. I can't help but relish the idea of knowing someone other than Tam. Though I loved Tam and his total calm.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You did a nice job this year winning the games. I was glad you had won instead of someone else," she says. I nod and manage a thank you. I don't think I was the one who should have won.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Tam's told me a lot about you," Mags says. I glance at Tam who has for the first time possibly ever a smirk on his lips.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Complaining I assume," I joked. Tam nodded but Mags laughed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I don't think Tam's complained once. In his life. No he said nothing but good about you," Mags replied. Tam blushes a little and laughs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We spend the rest of the afternoon together. Mags is apparently a big tea drinker so we all have tea together. I enjoy Mags company as much as Tam's. Plus I loved seeing Tam's (very obvious) crush on Mag's.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Tonight is your ceremony," Tam says once Mags is gone. I shudder I almost forgot that they made you watch everything over again while being filmed and watched by all of Panem. "You'll need to come get ready with Ludd."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So I leave with Tam and he takes me up to our floor where Ludd waits for me. The prep team goes for me first. They figure out how to hide the burn on my wrist and the scar on my face is covered by makeup. My leg will be harder. They end up just leaving the prosthetic alone and working on the rest of me. My dress is different now it's all feathers. It doesn't make me look fierce it makes me look nice, almost fragile.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except well I couldn't claim to know Ludd that well, I did know he was a good designer. If he was doing it like this then it was for a good reason.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My make up is simple. All pink colors making me look a little embarrassed and flushed. The shoes are not heels. Which is good because I don't think my prosthetic would allow heels yet.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm proud of you," Ludd states. I'm a little angry that he never came to see me in the hospital. I liked Ludd even if I thought he was a little bit sketchy. So I was annoyed he didn't visit.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thanks," I mutter. Ludd must see right through my act because he goes for a hug. I did not hug back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I have an affliction to hospitals, otherwise I would've come see you. However I want you to know I am still so proud of you," Ludd says with a big smile. I can't help but smile back. I hug him again but this time it is a real hug. Then Ludd quickly braids my hair. "Alright time to go to your ceremony."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The elevator reaches the stage pretty fast. All around us people are working and talking. The crowd outside sounds hungry and for a second I don't want to face them. Then Ludd squeezes my shoulder and smiles before leaving to go to his spot.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I go to where I am supposed to stand. It's a small black platform that is used to raise me up onto the stage after my team is introduced.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm beyond nervous and I don't know what to do. Tam had clearly explained my situation of having made the Capitol look stupid so I couldn't flaunt anything about my games. Someone yelled for silence and I heard the anthem begin playing on the stage above me. I looked around for a TV where I could watch what was happening. There was one on my left that showed Caesar skipping onto the stage.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My prep team went first. I knew this would be one of the best days of their lives but I could hardly breathe. I didn't want to see this all again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Next is Ludd, his white hair lays perfectly across his face as he reaches the stage. He doesn't smile or wave just stands there looking angry. Wether or not he was actually angry was up to debate. He did have a generally angry expression.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Janelle goes up too and she looks beyond thrilled. She will probably be moved to a different district soon because of all the success she's had. However right now she looks beyond ecstatic and waves to the audience.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tam is next, the second his platform has risen the audience explodes into cheers. Tam is something of a fan favorite in the Capitol due to a few reasons. One he had been around for years and was one of the original game winners. Two was his ability to seem incredibly cool and interesting. Three was the fact that apparently back in the day he was quite the looker. All of these things made the Capitol absolutely adore his presence.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Which of course leaves me. Someone reminds me to stand still well the platform rises but I am vaguely aware of the fact that fear has me rooted to the spot. The second my face hits the camera though I loosen up. I manage a small smile. The audience is going nuts though. Apparently they like me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Caesar talks to me and we make a couple jokes earning some laughs but I am not who I was before and I am not ready for this. However Caesar motions for the highlights to start playing. It will cut out a lot of what was happening trying to keep the time down to around three hours.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The first half hour are all the preface events. I pay attention to everyone but me. I don't remember Ash's reaping but now I can see it. I see the way he's choking back tears and I see his family crying. I realize his family will never see him again. Yet I hold back my own tears. I remember Yohan's reaping so well that seeing it again doesn't surprise me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The chariot rides are okay but I realize how attention stealing we actually were. Much better than I thought we had been. It shows our training scored again. I notice how they correlate with the deaths. Most of it didn't match up. The scores don't guarantee better placing.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The interviews are shown mostly through short snippets of what we had said. The audience laughs at my interview. It seems funnier than it actually was.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then the games start. The first thirty minutes or so are the beginning blood bath and I can't help but watch in horror. It seems like a year before all the blood and death end.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This is followed by more blood and death obviously but with more space between each kill. I watch as I kill the the boy from 2. I watch Yohan take down all Career's food. I wander over how I made it and not him, he was so much better than me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They go through it all again. I watch Ash's death again but it doesn't hurt me as much as I thought after all his face already haunts my thoughts. Though I can still feel the tears threatening to leak out but I bite my tongue to help ignore the tears. Then my disappearance comes on which they play off like they knew all about it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Finally I watch the final fight. Where I kill two people and lose Yohan. I lose it for a moment, two tears falling. Then I have recovered and look nothing but serious again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">President Snow walks on stage and all my tears are gone. I look professional and mostly put together. A small girl with blonde hair walks beside him holding a small cushion for the crown. He picks up the crown and puts it onto my head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With his face this close to mine I can feel the anger and hate rolling off of him. It is all directed towards me and I want to run right then. Run away to the wilds and never come back. But I hold my ground and try to look grateful and happy for the moment. Then the night is over.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next day I spend with Finnick and Johanna. We all go to the cafeteria together and eat. I may hate the Capitol but their food is a gift. We watch the games and talk well we eat.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Today in the games Cato is trying to find Katniss, Peeta, or the girl from 5. Katniss and Peeta are hunting and 5 is taking food from them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I haven't seen Mags recently. Is she okay?" I ask Finnick. Finnick nods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"She's okay but this year she's been feeling pretty bad so she mostly spends the day in her room," Finnick says. Finnick is even closer with Mags than I am. Though I might be second to him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'll have to go by and visit her. I miss seeing her around," I reply. Mags and I liked talking and to be honest I liked talking to her even more because she reminded me of Tam. If there is one person I miss it's Tam.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"She'll like seeing you," Finnick says. Johanna and Finnick are talking but I'm now focused on the games. The berries in 5's hands are poison.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Those berries. Night Lock. Poisonous. 5 is out of the games the second she eats them," I say to Finnick and Johanna. As if on cue 5 has died. A cannon goes off and I can see Peeta and Katniss talking about it but can't tell what they're saying because the cafeteria plays the games without volume.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You know all the poisonous berries?" Finnick asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No but I recognize those plus Katniss's face revealed I was right," I replied. Finnick nods thoughtfully.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What did Haymitch talk about with you last night?" Johanna asks with a suggestive smile.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Nothing like what you are thinking. He talked about his games with me for the first time," I reply. She laughs but nods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That's a big step for you," Johanna quips. I punch her lightly in the arm. Finnick seems to have realized what is going on at this moment. A grin lights his face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You like him don't you! Took you long enough!" Finnick whispers. I shrug as nonchalantly as possible. "No way. You totally do."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's none of your business. Plus it doesn't matter. We have more important things going on," I point to the screen showing Katniss and Peeta cooking their food. "Like that."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I understand." Finnick says. I believe that he actually does understand. I was 90% sure he and Annie were together. However because of Snow and his prostituting of victors, they would not be together if they were an item. Johanna and I shared a knowing look.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Will you just confirm you and Annie are in love," Johanna says having dropped her voice to hardly a whisper. Finnick shrugged but the smile on his face revealed it. Johanna slid me some money.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What was that for? Are you betting on my life?" Finnick asks in mock disbelief.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We're betting on everyone's life at this point," Johanna replies. We all laugh. Then we get food and bring it back to the room. I make sure to grab Haymitch and Chaff's favorite foods. Chaff was simple. Bread from his district (when asked why he said "I don't know. It reminds me of home.") Haymitch was a soup person. Pretty much any soup he would enjoy. A trait I shared with him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite helping choose the food I let Finnick and Johanna drop it off. I need to see Mags. Mags hasn't changed much over the years. She looked older for sure and she didn't talk anymore because of a stroke she had a few years back yet she was still loyal to a fault and just about the nicest person I have ever met.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Mags? Hey it's Red. I heard you weren't feeling too well?" I said as I walked into her room. Mags sat up in bed reading a book. She smiled when she saw me. Yet she shook her head in answer to my question.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Would you like some tea? Would that help?" I asked sitting at the chair by her bed. She nodded slowly. I jumped up and got to making two cups of tea. We had been together long enough that I knew how she took her drinks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I placed the drink carefully into her hands. She smiled and nodded a thank you. We sat and I told her about what was going on in my life.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"District 10 just doesn't feel like home anymore. I would leave but that's not an option. Next years a Quarter Quell. Which I am nervous about. Something will be different and whatever it is. It won't be good." I ranted a pretty much one sided conversation. Though I knew Mags was listening. She would do certain things to show that. Nod if she understands or tilt her head if she is confused.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Then there is Haymitch. I can't even go into that," I told her. She smiled and began writing on the notepad next to her. I continued talking. "I don't know how you've handled it all. Tam, the games every year, and still being the best person I've ever met."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mags smiled and shook her head denying her niceness. "Don't do that. Everyone knows you are the best and nicest person here."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Mags shook her head again but was still smiling at me. She ripped the paper out of her notepad and handed it to me. She made a motion that meant 'read it later'. I nodded.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We talked a bit longer and I read her book to her for a little before telling her that I would have to go back and watch the games. She nodded and pointed at my note before signing 'read alone.' I nodded again before hugging her and leaving.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The day has passed away without me noticing it. I head back to the the room to cover for Haymitch and Chaff well they sleep a little. When I get there they are both already passed out. I sit down in Haymitch's chair and watch the game for a few minutes before pulling out Mags note to read. I think Haymitch and Chaff sleeping counts as being alone.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The letter is written in Mags elegant handwriting. It's a surprisingly long note considering how fast she wrote it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">'<em>Try your best to be happy. If he makes you happy be with him. </em></span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>-Mags'</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I smile to myself. It is the message I need right now but it also shows that Mags is still very capable and smart. Despite her stroke. I am lucky to be very good at fighting. I would find out if Haymitch wanted any of this and if he did I would fight for it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I deserved to be happy even if the games try to take that away from me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After the ceremony where I had re watched the events we have to go to a party at President Snow's mansion. Tam and Janelle brief me quickly on what to do.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The most important thing is to be nice to everyone," Janelle says in a sing song voice.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Suck up, is what I would say," Tam states and I find myself agreeing with him. We pull into the party after that and I am almost immediately separated from Tam. However I keep his words in mind and act as friendly as possible with everyone. I crack jokes and throw in witty lines and the people love me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm going to the restroom I'll be right back," I manage to get away from them as I duck into the bathroom. I can't deal with all the cameras being right around me. Also I was starving.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"There's a back door if you need a breath alone," a women says with a smile. I thank her and head out. I head straight for the large buffet of food and pile my plate with different delicacies.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"If you talk to me for a little I will hide you from some of these guys" someone says to me. There is a handsome man next to me with tan skin and thick lips. I nod in confusion and follow him to a table hidden by a tree.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm Odysseus by the way," he says with a smile. I open my mouth to introduce myself but he cuts me off. "Don't worry everyone here knows who you are."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He motions for me to eat and I very politely eat like how Janelle taught me. Odysseus watches with a chuckle before eating as well. Then he sees a mob of fans coming.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm afraid our hiding spot didn't last. It was lovely to meet you," he gives a smile before leading the crowd in a different direction.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I eat a little longer before being dragged back to get more photos before eventaully ending the night. The next day I am interviewed one final time before I get to go home hopefully.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Caesar is there and he is incredibly helpful making me seem better than I actually am and I can't help but love him for that.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Only one question really hits home. "It seemed like you and Yohan had some real chemistry was there anything there?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"There was definitely chemistry," I say after a long pause. "But I guess we'll never know what could've happened."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then the interview is done.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tam was right like always. The day I was supposed to go home I was summoned to Snow's mansion. Mansion was in fact the only word you could use to describe it. There wasn't a single home in District 10 that were this big. It was even bigger than the slaughterhouses we had around 10.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The second I got there they escorted me to a garden hidden amongst the billion rooms. It was filled with white roses as seen constantly on President Snow.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Snow himself was tending to the roses with a neutral expression on his face though I doubted he was neutral. I thought after the games I wouldn't be afraid of anything but waiting for President Snow to acknowledge my presence struck every fear back into me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It reminded me of when I got in trouble at school for fighting another kid. The fear of punishment for doing something wrong was very strong. Except I had won the games. I was the only one still alive which means I hadn't done anything wrong. Even as I thought the words I know that Snow wouldn't believe me. I had made the Capitol look stupid and I would pay for it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red Odinsteed. We finally meet. I hope you've been recovering well?" Snow says. I'm terrified but I do what I need to. I pretend I'm in control.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yes I'm doing much better. Thank you for asking," I reply.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I assume you know why you are here?" Snows asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I assumed it was a congratulation for winning the games," I carefully manage. I feel like I'm dancing on daggers and with one step I will be dead.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're very clever. However, you made the Capitol look stupid. Do you know what that means?" Snow asks. I'm absolutely terrified and I'm sure he can sense my fear.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No sir. What does it mean?" I say. I can feel sweat dripping down my back even though I can't remember it being that hot out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It means we have to make a lesson out of you. Funny enough I had to do the same thing just a few years ago to another victor. You shouldn't try to outsmart the games," President Snow says not taking his eyes off the roses in front of him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm sorry sir. What will you do," I ask. I didn't care too much what he did to me. He could kill me for all I cared.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm going to kill everyone you love. Family. Friends. But not you. You will have to suffer through this life alone," Snow says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No. You can't just- Do it to me instead. Please they did nothing wrong. Kill me instead!" I say my mask dropping.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You don't understand. This is the best way to show you what you've done. Take away everything you care about."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That's not fair!!! I said I'd take their place. Don't touch anyone!!" I yell. I'm losing my temper but Snow doesn't seem to mind. He motions at some guards and they move to take me away. I tackle one and then manage a hard hit on two others that will definitely bruise them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I'm dragged back to the hospital. I try to think over who they will kill. I need to find Tam. The second I'm dropped off at the hospital I sprint to Tam's room. Tam and Mags are sipping tea together.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tears are done threatening to spill and are pouring out. I can hardly form words. Tam and Mags jump into action and manage to get me wrapped in a blanket and laying in bed. I need to tell them what happened but I can't stop my sobs. I can hardly even breathe right now.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually I stop crying and am left with a raging headache and sore eyes. Tam and Mags both wait patiently to see what happened that caused me to finally break.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But I can't speak. I just sit and make muffled sobbing noises. Mags gets up and hugs me. I can hardly think of what will happen to me. I need to get home to see my family and tell them what is going to happen. Would he kill Nox and Alexa? What have I done?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You should get some rest okay Red, then we will talk some more. You need to calm down," Tam says quietly as he throws a blanket over me and makes sure I'm nice and warm. I drift off in a panicked state of mind.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">During the night all the water but the lake dries up. I don't wake Chaff or Haymitch for this though. It's not important enough. I'm almost completely sure that tomorrow will be the last day of this years games.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It is not the longest game by far but it is longer than mine and most others. I take a small nap after midnight. Haymitch wakes me up once Katniss and Peeta wake up. It is somehow known that today will be the end.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss and Peeta have walked to the lake well waiting for Cato. Cato seems to be hunting for them elsewhere until I see movement. Something very unnatural starts chasing Cato. It's like a wolf but definitely more human. Whatever it is it's absolutely terrifying. I wake up everyone as quickly as possible. Finnick and Johanna dash in having been woken up by someone. Everyone is together for the end and yet I find myself holding Haymitch's hand in terror.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What is that thing?" Finnick asks. More beasts follow the first.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Things. What are those things?" Chaff corrects.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On the other screen Katniss sings Rue's song to the Mockingjays. They sing it back and are absorbed in their moment of peace until Cato and the strange monsters fly out of the forest. Katniss and Peeta are off just as fast.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'll give you this. Cato isn't stupid. He's up the Cornucopia fast and he knows or at least hopes that the monsters can't climb it. Katniss is up next before remembering Peeta. She helps Peeta up too.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The creatures are similar to wolves but twice the size and with large razor sharp claws. They are all different shades and sizes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They watch the mutts jumping up towards them for a moment before Katniss loses it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Katniss?" Peeta tries to reach Katniss's thoughts</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's her!" Katniss manages to get out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Who?" asks Peeta. Everyone in our room is just as confused as Peeta. Has Katniss lost it?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What is it, Katniss?" Peeta shakes Katniss as he asks as if to remind her of reality.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's them. It's all of them. The others. Rue and Foxface and ... all of the other tributes," Katniss chokes out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Peeta gasps and so does everyone in our room. "What did they do to them? You don't think ... those could be their real eyes?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Forget eyes. Did they take their bodies apart to build these monsters? How did they even manage to this. I realize at this point how hard I am squeezing Haymitch's hand and I quickly let go of it. The games are ending with extra terror this year.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A large wolf who must be Thresh manages to almost get up onto the Cornucopia. Katniss and Peeta are going up higher. Right towards Cato I note. Sure enough Cato wraps his arms around Peeta's neck in a choke hold. Katniss has drawn her bow and they both stare at each other in a who will shoot first way.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Shoot me and he goes down with me." Cato mocks. I can only imagine what all of Panem is thinking. This game is so intense even I can't turn it off. Which is what they want.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Peeta traces a finger covered in blood on Cato's hand. It makes an <b>X</b> letting Katniss take the shot. Cato falls down towards the mutts. There is a solid thud and the sound of Cato's screams. Katniss and Peeta manage to stay up on the Cornucopia together.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except after five minutes Cato is still getting eaten alive. Then ten minutes and no change. Then and hour. Then three hours. We hardly speak except to express our horror at this.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We all watch in horror. How they can do this is beyond me. The silence of the room only makes Cato's screams louder.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We have stayed up all night tonight. There is no need to sleep. Around morning Katniss finally lets Cato out of his misery. It's more a mercy killing them anything else. The mutts leave. Katniss and Peeta get away from Cato's body. But no announcement.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They still want them to fight each other," Johanna says. I know what she's saying is true but I'm annoyed that they would lie to these two kids like that. No one is allowed to mess with someone like that.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That's bullshit," I growl but Haymitch shushes me with a glare and a touch of my leg. We watch in curiosity and fear to see what will happen next.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Greetings to the final contestants of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games. The earlier revision has been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed," the announcer says. "Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No one says anything. We had expected as much. The games have always been the same. Rule changes aren't real.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They can both still win. They just have to figure out how," I manage. Haymitch shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You know what kind of hell they would have to go through. They'd be better off if one of them died," Haymitch says quietly. Haymitch, Johanna, and I all understood this. We've had everyone we cared about taking away.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're right," I agree. It's a bad truth but it is a truth.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"If you think about it, it's not that surprising," Peeta says softly. Peeta gets up with his knife and for a second I think he will try to kill Katniss but I immediately know that isn't true. He's not strong enough at this point but more importantly he really does love Katniss. It's not a trick or a play for sponsors to him. He loves Katniss.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">However Katniss doesn't understand all this or her survival instincts kick in because her bow is pulled up with an arrow pointed straight at Peeta.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Peeta raises his eyebrows. The knife had been thrown into the lake. Katniss sees her mistake and drops her bow. Her face is burning in embarrassment.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No," Peeta manages. "Do it." Peeta limps toward Katniss and thrusts the weapons back in her hands.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I can't. I won't." Katniss replies. I am almost surprised. Katniss understands the way of the world. The kill or be killed aspect. Yet I now realize that she also understands the need to be compassionate.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Do it. Before they send those mutts back or something. I don't want to die like Cato," Peeta begs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Then you shoot me," Katniss rages, throwing the weapons back at him."You shoot me and go home and live with it!"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You know I can't," Peeta says, discarding the weapons."Fine, I'll go first anyway." Peeta rips his bandage away. The contact between the earth and his blood will surely kill him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No, you can't kill yourself," Katniss states rejecting the action. She grabs the bandage and begins redoing the wrap.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Katniss," Peeta manages.. "It's what I want."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They're just as stubborn as you," Johanna interrupts kicking Haymitch's chair. Everyone says some kind of agreement. Haymitch growls.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You're not leaving me here alone," Katniss declares. I picture myself doing this with Yohan. But it was too late for Yohan. It's not too late for Peeta.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Listen," Peeta says pulling Katniss up. "We both know they have to have a victor. It can only be one of us. Please, take it." Peeta rants about how he loves Katniss. But I can see it in Katniss eyes. It's the same look Haymitch gets when he figures something out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"She found a way out," I whisper.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What how do you know?" Chaff's asks and all I see is the way Haymitch's eyes light up and he suddenly starts going faster, more determined, but then Katniss is moving again. She reaches towards the bag that are filled with the berries that killed 5. Peeta grabs Katniss's hand.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No, I won't let you."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Trust me," Katniss whispers. They hold each other's gaze for a few moments. Then Katniss fills Peeta's hand with berries. Then she fills her own.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"On the count of three?" Peeta says as he leans down and kisses Katniss once, very gently.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"The count of three," he reinforces.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They stand together with their backs touching lightly. The berries waiting to take them away.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Our room is seeped in silence. It is a good idea for sure but it also ends with them in the same spot as us. They will have beaten the games but will lose everything.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hold them out. I want everyone to see," Peeta says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss holds out her hand letting the deadly berries glisten. It makes them look less threatening. Then they seem to have given a signal and both begin counting."One. Two. Three!"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can see the doubt written all over their faces but they still bring the berries to their lips. They touch their tongue when the trumpets sound. I don't know whether to cheer or cry.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The paniced voice of The announcer shouts, "Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victors of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark! I give you — the tributes of District Twelve!"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Nice going to the girl on fire. She might have been the spark," Chaff says. It's a double reference. He thinks Katniss is in trouble but he also thinks she could have just started the revolution. We'll have to wait and see.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss and Peeta both spit out their berries and run to the water they flush out their mouths then lay in each other's arms as the hovercraft flies in.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We all get up to head back to the training center then home. Haymitch would likely stay in the Capitol for a while because of his tributes injuries.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I head for my room and make sure all my stuff has been packed properly. The avoxes must have packed it all because it is perfectly neat in my bags when I arrive. I head out to the hovercrafts. Finnick, Johanna, and Haymitch are already there. We all wait for Chaff. For now the immediate stress of the games has been lifted and we joke and laugh with each other even after Chaff arrives and we get back on the hovercraft. The air is still tense but different now.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm just excited to get back outside," I say when asked what I miss about 10.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That's all?" Finnick asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah. 10 doesn't exactly have a great sense of community like your districts. It's too spread out because of all the animals so we aren't too connected," I reply.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I understand, 11 is similar to that though we build very strong tighter communities," Chaff says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What about you Haymitch? What do you miss about 12?" Johanna asks. Haymitch gives a half shrug.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I like the peace and quiet. Basically anything the Capitol has a surplus of 12 has a lack of. Which is good and bad," Haymitch says. I think about Atlas and Effie and where they are. They are probably already back at the training center by now.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We pull in on the roof just as Katniss and Peeta are pulled off. They are both unconscious. Haymitch hugs all of us goodbye then runs to catch up with Effie. Once Haymitch is gone the rest of us hug and say longer goodbyes and talk for a little before getting off the Hovercraft to go home.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hey I'll see you guys on Victory Tour. Stay safe until then alright," I joke. I give long hugs to everyone even Mags who slips on board to see us one last time before heading home. I give Chaff, Johanna, Finnick, and Mags extra long hugs. I always miss not being around them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I walk off the hovercraft to meet Atlas. He has a smile plastered on his face but it's seems the slightest bit wrong. Like a warning. I hug him and whisper in his ear, "what's wrong?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He holds the hug and whispers back, "You tell me. Why does Snow want to talk to you?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I pull away in shock. I haven't talked to Snow one on one in years. And I don't want to talk to him. Last time he killed my entire family and all my friends. I couldn't think of any reason he would want to see me. I search the crowd for Chaff or Haymitch. They would know what to do. Chaff was already gone though. Haymitch was following Katniss out. They're was no way I could make it to him before he reached the elevator.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"When am I supposed to be there?" I asked Atlas. Atlas checked his watch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Now. Come on let's go," Atlas says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next day I say goodbye to Mags. She makes me promise to come see her every games and I agree eagerly to it. I enjoyed her company far too much.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You excited to be home?" Tam asks as we sit on the train watching districts speed past. I haven't told him about my conversation with Snow yet. I don't think the train is a safe place either.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It will be so different then what I remembered. I'm different then I remember. I'm don't know how I feel about it." I reply. Tam nods thoughtfully.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You did it though. You won. Now you just have to keep playing the game," Tam says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"But I won," I whisper. Tam shrugs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"People are still interested in my life even though I won fifty something years ago. I have to keep up the act. You never win the games," Tam says. I wonder if this all an act. The calm nature he holds. Is he actually aggressive? A party animal? I can't picture him as anything other than the calm man before me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You could still have friends and family though. Why don't you?" I ask him. Tam shrugs and looks out the window.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"My family is gone. So are most of my friends. I have only ever found two women who interest me and it will never work with either of them. I couldn't ever risk having kids in case they were reaped. I am happy with my life now. I enjoy being alone," Tam states.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Well you won't be alone anymore. After all we will be neighbors," I joke. Tam shoots a glare but he's smiling so I know it's fake. I need to tell him what Snow said to me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Anyways it won't be so bad for you. You have friends and family to see," Tam says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Snow said he's going to kill everyone I care about," I blurt out. Tam for once doesn't look too calm. He looks a little panicked and a little sad.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tam doesn't say anything he simply slides over to me and gives me a hug. I don't realize I'm crying until Tam wipes off one of my tears.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It'll be okay. Things will work out eventually. You just might have to wait a while," Tam says. Tam is no longer my mentor. He is my best friend. He seems to understand everything and knows just what to say to make me feel okay.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I fall asleep curled up next to Tam. I can't stop thinking of their faces. My mom, dad, my brother, and Alexa and Nox. I feel like I could break right now. But I am still alive.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Atlas goes with me to President Snow's mansion. I wonder what Haymitch is doing. Probably waiting around for his Victors to wake up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I am back to panic mode. Why in the world does Snow want to see me? Have I done something wrong? What have I done?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Atlas must sense my nerves because he holds my hand and makes small talk about the weather and how he'll miss seeing his friends well they're gone. Which is only partially true. The escorts got to see each other whenever game season wasn't on. Where as the most I talked to my other Victor friends was on the phone. And you can't really talk then knowing that the Capitol is monitoring every word you say.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then we are at Snow's. Atlas has to leave me but he promises that he will be there when he gets back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The guards walk me down the same hallways as last time. Then I'm brought to a dining room where Snow sits alone drinking wine.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm surprised at the lack of fear I feel. Instead I want to murder him. I would jump forward and kill him right now if it weren't for all the guards. He offers me a glass of wine but the whispers Finnick has told me deny me of the want for any. There is a reason Snow smells so heavily of blood and flowers. A sickening and nauseating mix.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red. Nice to see you again. It's been too long," Snow says politely. I am done with polite.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Why am I here?" I press.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Straight to the point I see. I'm glad that has changed since I last saw you. I have seen your photos. They are very impressive," Snow says. I'm surprised. It's not where I thought the conversation was going.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thank you," I reply. Still sitting tensely in my seat.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You have a good quality of making almost anyone look good," he says spreading a folder of my photos out on the table in front of me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They are from an old collection called Victors. I admit it is one of my better collections. Snow is right even the careers look decent in their photos. Despite my hate for them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You make even the most unsavory people look good," Snow says as he slides photos of Haymitch and Chaff forward.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That's because only a few people I've met are truly unsavory. These two are not among them," I state staring Snow down. Snow smiles and I want to run as far away from here as possible.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You've truly grown fond of them. Especially one of them. Hm?" Snow says dragging away Chaff's photo. Haymitch is the only one left now. I shrug and hope my fear isn't as noticeable as I feel it is.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm fond of all my friends. Haymicth isn't an acceptation," I rebuttal. Snow nods slowly. He clearly already knows.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That is not what you're here for. So don't worry. It turns out the Capitol enjoys your work. Which is why I am giving you an assignment. You are to take photos of our newest tributes. However you need to make sure that they are in love in all of them," Snow drawls as though I won't understand.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You want me to make them look like they are in love?" I ask back. Snow nods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Make them look how they are suppose to look. Like the star crossed lovers," Snow says. Back a few years ago I would have argued over why I had to do it. Not anymore. I wouldn't risk anyone else's lives over my mistakes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Alright. So how long will I stay with them?" I ask. Snow seems pleased with my immediate acceptance.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Your escort will be staying in the Capitol. However You'll stay with 12 from the time you leave the Capitol to the day after the Victory Tour ends," Snow says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Alright. Do we shake on it?" I ask with a smirk. Snow frowns but shakes my hand before shooing me out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I'm brought back to the Training Center with Atlas. I don't want to go back yet I am stuck here for now. At least I'll be with Haymitch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I have to leave now. I'll see you next year though. And please call me for once?" Atlas says. I laugh. I admittedly hardly used a phone.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fine I'll call you," I fake complain. I hug Atlas, a long hug. He smells like the Capitol but I don't mind as much as usual. I always miss Atlas when he isn't with me. Even if he is a Capitol kid. Then Atlas is gone and I'm headed toward where a guard says Haymitch is.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The hospital is below the area where the tributes have to train and I'm not surprised to find Haymitch and Effie there. After all their kids are hurt. They can't leave them easily. Effie turns and notices me first.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red Odinsteed! I thought you had to go back to District 10?" Effie exclaims doing the weird Capitol kiss where you kiss each cheek. I didn't mind to much though. Effie was alright. A little bit of the Capitol stupidity but she tried her best to help and I appreciated that.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I've been assigned to District 12. I'll be doing photographs of your two new victors," I reply. Haymitch is watching the interaction but has not moved to greet me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That is great news!! You know your photos are quite the buzz here. It cost far more than I could ever afford to get one of your prints!" Effie laughs. I didn't know they sold my photos but it doesn't surprise me. I have touched none of the money that comes from my photos so I'm curious as to how much they cost.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'll show you some of my photos and you can have whichever one you want," I reply with a smile. Effie is seemingly thrilled by this and gives me a real hug. I hug her back careful to keep out of her wig.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Haymitch, please greet our new guest," Effie says waving Haymitch forward. Haymitch smirks but gets up off his chair and walks over to hug me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's a better hug then the one he gave me earlier today. It's a joyous hug after all not a leaving hug. He puts his arm against my head and pulls me even tighter towards him. I smile against his shoulder. Then I remember why I am here and whisper quietly into his ear, "I have to make your couple look in love."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch nods slightly and then we pull apart. Haymitch still has that stupid smirk on his face. "Glad to have you with us, sunshine."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I growled a few choice words at him. I hated being called Sunshine. Then again it was better than other names.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Are Katniss and Peeta alright?" I ask Haymitch and Effie.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Peeta's leg is the main problem but he's alright. They're just fixing Katniss up," Haymitch says. That's good news. Then I think about my own missing leg. Technology was better now but I still doubted Peeta would be able to run the same way he used to.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We need to prepare the Sponsor banquet now. Which as you know is a very big deal!" Effie says smiling. I shake my head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I've never been to one. There's a lack of Victors in 10," I reply. Effie laughs but I can tell it's more because she has to than that it was actually funny.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Well, you can help Haymitch and I set it up if you'd like. I have the perfect theme for this year!" Effie exclaims. I can't help but smile. Effie was almost always in a good mood. We got into an elevator to go up to District 12's floor.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh where will you sleep?" Effie asks as an afterthought. I glance at Haymitch who has the most self satisfied smirk on his face. I glare at him but he only smiles more.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We can share," Haymitch says with a wink at me. I punch him in the arm enough to make it hurt. Haymitch gasps "Rude."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ya I'll stay with Grumpy. Not a big deal. I sleep with him enough," I state whilst glaring at Haymitch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Effie gasps. "Are you two-"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No. I get nightmares. Staying with others helps stop them," I interrupt. I can feel my face heating up and Haymitch's chuckle is not helping.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh! I didn't mean to imply. Now back to the banquet I'm thinking the theme will be fire!!" Effie states. I hold back a groan. This would be a long trip.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The train slows to a stop in District 10. The sound of the cows mooing outside is strangely calming. As the train finally settles to a complete halt I hear the cheering of 10. Tam gives me a reassuring smile and we both stand up to go outside.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Leave your stuff on the train. They will bring it all to Victor's Village," Tam tells me. He pushes me towards the door and I glance out to see that all of 10 must be here. I can hardly believe it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They are proud of you now go say hi," Tam says lightly. I nod and walk out. Everyone is cheering and I see my family at the end of the walkway. Thank god they aren't dead. They aren't dead yet.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I sprint down the platform and tackle my family in a hug. The crowd is all laughing at this. Yet I stay clawed to them. I can feel Tam behind me and so I let go of my family. The mayor congratulates me and we shake hands. Janelle is very enthusiastic about the welcome home. She waves at me with a huge smile on her face. I laugh and wave back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There is a homecoming today but the real party will be after my victory tour. I'm beyond confused about it. Why are people celebrating me? I have done nothing but kill others.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As if reading my thoughts Tam walks behind me and whispers, "the Capitol makes the rules. No one thinks about it."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I nod slowly but can't join them in their celebration. I can't even eat the food they give me. In the hospital I ate nothing but soup and tea. Food didn't sit in my stomach right. Some of the kids from 10 sing a song for me and the mayor talks to me about my new home.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everything seems perfect.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But it's not.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everything feels fake and superficial. I don't know what to do or say when people come up to me. And I still haven't seen Nox or Alexa.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My brother eventually reaches me. He gives me an awkward smile. "Weird right? Seeing everyone like this? Doesn't feel right."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It's such awkward small talk that I want to run for it right now. But I think Con is testing making sure I haven't lost it the way Buck has.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It feels fake but I suppose that's how it's supposed to feel. Just needs to look real enough that no one riots," I say. Con smiles and hugs me. I have passed his test.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I was afraid you'd come back like Buck. Never talking just staring all the time. I was scared that would be the new you," Con says. I shake my head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Same old me," I lie. It's not the same old me. Everything couldn't be more different. I was a mess. It was hard to eat and I couldn't sleep without being plagued by those who had died or I had killed. My life was stuck in the games and I was terrified. "Where's Alexa and Nox?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Con's face darkened and he avoided my gaze. I hit him on the arm. "Where are they?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Con looks past me. "Not now."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I nod and we walk out of the crowds towards one of the dusty ally ways that 10 is known for.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red I'm sorry. I don't know what happened but... Alexa is dead. She died a few days ago. No one knows how. They just found her already gone. Nox... Nox is missing no one knows where," Con manages. Alexa is dead. Nox is Dead. Dead. And it's my fault. Snow has already started the process of getting rid of everyone I care about.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Con, Snow said that he's going to kill everyone I care about because of what I did in the games," I stammer out. Con's eyes widen and his mouth falls open.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You mean President Snow killed Alexa and Nox?" he whispers.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Not him personally but yes. And you too if you aren't careful. I think they'll probably do it well I'm on my Victory Tour. You need to get out of here. Bring mom and dad. Then leave. Never come back," I manage. Con shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"President Snow wouldn't do that. He doesn't care that much about us. Red, are you sure you are alright?" He asks. I'm panicking my breathing heavy and sweat running down my face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No I'm not okay. I just had to kill a bunch of other kids in order to survive. I made new friends and they were killed in front of me. My old friends are apparently dead too. I think my family is next and you don't believe me!" I snap at Con who recoils away from me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Fine. I understand I'm sorry. I'll see if there is a way out but we'll just have to wait and see," Con says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I walk back to the party. The mayor greets me again. He rest a hand around my waist and I shift uncomfortably.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Would you like to go see your new home?" He asks. He looks thrilled to finally have another Victor. But not in the way the people of 10 look at me; something different. I lightly try to get out of his grasp but he makes no movement.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Sure. I just need to find my family and Tam," I reply scanning the crowd. I've already lost Con. I've barely seen my parents tonight. Tam is missing too.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's fine they can meet us there," the mayor says. I don't like the way he stares at me. Something is wrong. I'm about to run for it when Tam arrives.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Don't worry I can take her. Wouldn't want you to miss the party," Tam states. He pulls me away from the mayor's grip.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Of course. How thoughtful, Tam," the mayor growls out but Tam is already pulling me away from the mayor. Victor's village is only a little ways away from the cities center. The second we're out of the small city I stop Tam.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Tam. What was the mayor doing?" I ask him. Tam looks sadly at me but motions for me to keep walking.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Exactly what you think he was doing. You need to be ready to break his arm if he or anyone else does that again. You are no child anymore," Tam states. I nod slowly. He's right. I'm not a child I am a lion ready to bite those that get to close.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I almost think the games were better than this," I manage. Tam nods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"They might be," Tam says before stopping in front of all the houses. "I don't suppose you have a preference. That one there is mine and the one back there is Buck's."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'd like to be next to your house I think," I say. Tam had become my best friend but more importantly my beacon of safety. I wanted to be close to him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That one there then. I'll show you around. All the houses have the same layout," Tam states. It's a big house. Almost the size of one of the barns. Especially against the red and orange setting sun the house was admirable. Better than every other house in 10. It was all white with a huge wrap around porch. More important was the sight of grass and flowers and life among the dust.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Let's go in," Tam states. I nod and we walk up onto the porch of the huge house. Tam has the key for all the houses and uses one on the door of my house. The front room is huge and ultimately useless other than having a stair case to the second floor. The rest of the bottom floor has a big kitchen (stocked full of food), a dining room, a bathroom, and a huge living room.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"All the bathrooms have showers and hot water," Tam states. I'm shocked. The showers we usually had to use were the ones where we worked which always used cold water or gross lukewarm water.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Wow," is all I can manage to say. Tam nods and we walk up to the next floor. There are six bedrooms each with their own bathroom on this floor.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Who needs six bedrooms?" I ask in disbelief. Tam shrugs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Originally it was so the Victors could have room for all their kids. I guess they didn't realize that hardly any of the victors wanted kids when they would have to go through what they did," Tam states.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I nod slowly, it made sense. Why have kids when you know they could have to live through the same nightmares I did.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"So I live here now?" I ask in shock. Tam nods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I want you to meet someone," Tam states. So I leave the gigantic house that is now mine.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I realize that Tam is taking me to meet Buck. I had never seen Buck up close. I vaguely remember him coming home from the games. Yet he has always been a ghost to me. I guess that ends today.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh Red! I thought you'd be back in 10 by now!" Some sponsor says to me. I am careful to never say names at these events. I do not know half the people who say they know me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yes I was lucky enough to be asked to join District 12's team for my photography skills," I reply as politely as possible.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh that is absolute lovely. Your work is considered some of the best at the Capitol. I have a photo by you, you know," she says. I actually look at her over this comment. She looks very Capitol. Red wig orange make up. Yellow dress. Red shoes. Trying very hard to keep with the theme of fire.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Do you really? May I ask what collection it's from?" I say. She nods eagerly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's from your Districts collection. It's one of district 12. It's the reason I supported the star crossed lovers this year," she whispers like it's a well guarded secret.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Which one is it of 12? If I may ask?" I reply being careful to be as polite as possible.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh it's of a meadow! There's flowers and you can see the sky above it! Absolutely stunning work!" She says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thank you. I know the exact picture you mean. It's one of my favorites," I reply before seeing Cinna walk past. I excuse myself before walking after him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I catch his arm and he turns to me. He smiles upon noticing who it is. "Red. I've been looking for you. Effie said you'd be staying a little longer."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I nod and smiled back. "Yes I'll be part of your team for a little while."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That is good news. Would you care for a dance?" Cinna asks. I have always been a bad dancer however the fact that I was missing half my leg made it harder. Yet if I was being asked by someone as gorgeous as Cinna I would do it happily.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'd love to," I reply and Cinna lightly rest his hand on the small of my back before walking to the dance floor. We step into pace and began moving across the floor. "Admittedly I'm not a great dancer. Which I will blame on the prosthetic."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I have a design to show you. It would make your leg both more functional and more attractive. Though I would say you are already the best looking women in this room," Cinna said. It wasn't put off as flirting, he was generally saying it as though it were a fact.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm flattered. I dare say the same thing about you," I reply. He smiles at me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yet, I think you'd rather be dancing with others," Cinna chuckles as he moves me so that I am staring directly at Haymitch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That may be true but I'd still argue your better looking," I quip. Cinna chuckles and we step off the dance floor.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I like you. You'd get along with our Girl on Fire. I'll send you those designs. Now if you excuse me I have to get back to flattery," Cinna jokes with a wink. I smile and wave as he walks off. I settle by the bar and order a juice of some kind.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You enjoy dancing with Cinna?" Haymitch asks as he joins me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I enjoy Cinna, dancing not as big of fan," I reply. Haymitch orders something strong and we sit next to each other watching the party goers in interest. They seem so strange to me. Like watching the cows in 10. They graze about slowly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Switch drinks?" I ask. Haymitch shrugs and he hands me his drink as I hand him mine. I take a long swallow of his letting it burn my throat all the way down.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yours has no alcohol. Give me mine back," Haymitch laughs. I join him in laughter but hand him his drink. "So do I get a dance with you, sunshine?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Only if you want me to step on your feet," I reply back without missing a beat.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That is all I want. For you to step on my feet," he replies. I laugh. He takes my hand and guides me to the dance floor. To be honest I expected him to be much worse at dancing then he is. I do however step on his feet five or six times. Only two of them being on purpose.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Your not too bad at this. I'm impressed," I joke. Haymitch chuckles.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You should hear me sing. I sound like an angel," he quips. But it leaves me wondering if he can sing. I think about what his talent is and I can't remember.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What's your talent?" I ask him. Haymitch gives a huge smirk that seems to laugh at me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's not singing if that's what you were thinking. I chose the first thing on the list. Astronomy maybe? Or that thing when you collect bugs?" We both laugh out loud. I'm not surprised he just randomly chose his talent at all.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I've never done it that's for sure."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm not even surprised. If you had chosen an actual talent, what would it have been?" I ask. The song is different now and it's much slower. We change our movements so that we're mostly swinging back and forth in place.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm not sure. Singing maybe? I could write poetry like Finnick," we both laugh at the idea of Haymitch writing poetry.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You could have drinking contest with members of the Capitol," I suggest. He pretends to think this over.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That sounds like a plan." We laugh. The song ends and Haymitch leads me off the floor. It's late into the night by now and I need sleep.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm going to bed," I tell him. He nods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'll be up soon. The party ended half an hour ago. People just don't like to leave," Haymitch jokes. I smile but head to the elevator. I ride it up to floor 12 looking out at the Capitol growing small beneath me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I head to Haymitch's room and shed the dress I am wearing before realizing I have no clothes to change into. I groan and open the door to Haymitch's closet. I grab one of his shirts and a clean looking pair of boxers.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I roll into bed. I'm drifting off the second I hit the mattress. There are nightmares though. I sit in the woods with Haymitch, Chaff, Finnick, Johanna, and Mags. It seems okay for a minute until I notice the sweat dripping down my back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's kind of hot in here," I mention. Which is when I see it a wall of fire charging down towards us. "Run!!"</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The smell of smoke reaches my nose and I'm sprinting. I glance back to see the fires engulf Mags. Finnick and Chaff go back to save her disappearing into the flame. Johanna looks back but continues sprinting away. Eventually we reach water and we all jump into it. I pull myself back up. Haymitch and swimming with me but I can't see Johanna.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She breaks the surface for a second and I can tell she's drowning but by the time I get there she has already gone. It's just me and Haymitch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then I hear the hovercraft above and see the claw come down and take him away from me too. I'm screaming trying to find Johanna and stop Haymitch's accession.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">My eyes snap open. Haymitch is sitting up next to me trying to wake me up. I immediately pull myself closer to him. He holds me there and we rock back in forth in silence.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I would've woken you up earlier but I just got back," he states into my hair.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's okay," I mumble against his chest. But it's not okay and in my mind I have decided. I would die to save my friends. I would kill to save them. I wouldn't let anyone hurt them. They would be safe or I would die.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I stay holding onto him like if I let go I will fall to my death for an hour or so. Haymitch doesn't try to remove me. He lets me stay there. Eventually he speaks again with a lightness in his voice. "I love what you're wearing by the way."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Thanks. I stole it," I mummer sleepily. Haymitch chuckles and I let go of him. Yet I don't move away from him. We fall asleep like that. Facing each other wrapped in the other's space.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Red, wake up," Haymitch declares. I groan and roll out of bed. "Katniss and Peeta are getting out today. I assume you wanted to see them."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah. I'll need pictures of that probably. Are my clothes up here yet?" I ask Haymitch wiping the sleep out of my eyes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Ya someone brought them in this morning," Haymitch replied. I nodded and looked at him for a minute. His back was turned to me but Haymitch was clearly tying his shoe. I stopped staring and realized how screwed I was. I was totally in love with him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Okay. I'm going to shower," I state walking over and grabbing some of my clothes. Haymitch nods without looking up at me. Which is probably good because I know I am bright red right now.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I quickly shower washing away all the filth of last night. Haymitch knocks on the door lightly. "We got to go soon!"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I turn off the shower and get changed into my clothes as quickly as possible. I unlike Haymitch and Effie will not have to go on stage today. So I'm allowed to wear a more relaxed look. I stick with a large hoodie that is the size of a trenchcoat but with the comfortableness of a jacket. Paired with pants and a jacket I give the look of the Capitol without it's ridiculous colors and fabrics.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I meet Haymitch outside. He looks at my outfit for a second but nods in approval. We walk down to the hospital.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Does Katniss know about the ceremony today?" I ask Haymitch which code for does she know the Capitol hates her. Haymitch immediately catches on.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No I haven't been able to talk to her but I will," he replies. We arrive at the hospital's floor and join Effie and Cinna in the waiting chairs. I take my camera out and make sure I'm ready for pictures. They will be for personal use as Snow doesn't care about anyone other than Katniss and Peeta.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I hear Katniss before seeing her. She yells Peeta's name and it echoes out to the lobby. Effie stands with a proud smile.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Katniss!!" She yells back. Cinna and Haymitch also stand up and I slip back towards a corner where I can take pictures without ruining the moment. Katniss sprints down the hallway and immediately embraces Haymitch. I'm surprised she didn't go for Cinna first but I am glad. I snap photos as quickly as I can. I'll deal out which ones I like the best later.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I can barely read Haymitch's lips when he whispers to Katniss. <em>Nice job, sweetheart</em>. I smile despite it all. Then Katniss and Effie greet each other. Effie pats her head and cries only a little. Then Cinna and Katniss hug for a minute. Katniss definitely trust Cinna the most.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Where's Portia? Is she with Peeta? He is all right, isn't he? I mean, he's alive?" Katniss asks trying to calm her panic.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"He's fine. Only they want to do your reunion live on air at the ceremony," says Haymitch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Oh. That's all. I guess I'd want to see that myself." Katniss admits.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Go on with Cinna. He has to get you ready," says Haymitch. I wave goodbye to Haymitch and Effie who have to get ready and go to join Cinna and Katniss.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We all step into the elevator and I can tell Katniss is both cautious and confused about my presence. Cinna notices it too because he introdues me, "Katniss, this is Red. She is a victor. You may remember her she's good friends with Haymitch."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I recognize you. What are you doing here," she asks bluntly. I laugh. Her face gets redder.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"No need to be embarrassed. If half the people I know talked like that conversations would be twice as fast. I'm a pretty famous photographer. I'll be doing pictures of Peeta and your love life's," I say with a smile. Katniss looks unsure but glances at Cinna and relaxes. Cinna must trust me enough to have given the okay.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then we reach floor 12 and Katniss is sent to work. The prep team works on her. They gossip the whole time and I only pay half attention to it. I don't think the prep team has even noticed I am here. Most of it is babbling about the games and what they were doing. They are idiots,</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">all of them, but they are also ridiculously naive like children.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They are good at what they do however and I am impressed by their make up skill. They continue ranting on their gossip and I only look up when someone says my name. "Did you hear about Red Odinsteed and Haymitch?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I hadn't heard about it yet so I was intrigued. "Last night they apparently revealed their love for each other. I knew they were dating. I've been betting on it for years."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I think back to last night. We danced together and drank a little had I really revealed my love to him. I'm holding back my laughter and I can see Katniss watching me with a smile on her face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Apparently they were all over each other!! Making out all night. Then they left together for their room," one says. Which admittedly is partially true. We hadn't made out but we had shared a room.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That can't be true! I always thought Red and Chaff were together!" One says and I can't hold it back any longer, I let a laugh barely able to breathe from how hard I am laughing. My ribs begin hurting from lack of oxygen causing me to stop. All the prep team is looking at me in shock, horror, and shame. I laugh again before catching my breath.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Well admittedly I did dance with Haymitch last night, I did not make out with him. Chaff and I have unfortunately always been just friends. He's like my best friend or something," I joke. The prep team doesn't even reply. Cinna walks in at this moment. "I danced with Cinna too."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cinna nods in agreement but pays no other attention to our conversation. He hands Katniss a dress and I stand up and move closer to watch the action.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Have you given up the whole ‘girl on fire' thing?" Katniss asks. She definitely doesn't look the fierce defiant role of the girl on the fire. She looks like a little girl. However that is the point, she is a little girl.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You tell me," Cinna says as he pulls the dress onto her. It definitely still flickers like fire but it is softer. Like a candle not a bonfire. Katniss touches her clearly padded breast.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I know," says Cinna before Katniss says anything. "But the Gamemakers wanted to alter you surgically. Haymitch had a huge fight with them over it. This was the compromise." I stop paying attention to think on that. It would be easy for Haymitch to have done that without me knowing it. I hung out in the room half the time knowing I lacked the need to be at everything he went to. But this makes me happy. Haymitch standing up for Katniss over something so personal. I am proud of District 12.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss still looks breath taking. I really had to hand it to Cinna. He definitely understood fashion. The way Katniss dress flickered with every movement make her look fantastic.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"What do you think?" Cinna asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I think it's the best yet..." Katniss says still admiring herself. Cinna smiles at this and glances over towards me. I give a nod of approval. The dress is fantastic, paired with the makeup, hair, and shoes it is perfection. Katniss would have the crowd's hearts.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then again she always did.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I thought it'd be something more ... sophisticated-looking," Katniss says. I watch with curiosity at Cinna's reaction.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I thought Peeta would like this better," he answers carefully. I know immediately that he is, like Haymitch, the rest of my friends, and I; part of the revolution. This is all another calculated play.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then we are headed out. The ceremony will be starting soon. I've been allowed access to everywhere but the stage itself. So I will need to find where I can get the best photos of the reunited couple.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We ride the elevator down to the floor that they do interviews on. I step out first and look for Haymitch. It's hard to focus with the crowds noise and everyone moving around me. Someone taps my back and I spin with a fist ready to crash their face in.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Relax. It's me," I stop my fist and lower my arm. Haymitch has found me first. I admire his outfit for a moment. Someone is clearly looking out for him because he doesn't look drunk and disorderly like usual. He looks pretty good in fact.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I have to go tell Katniss good luck. I'll see you afterwards," Haymitch states before running off to join Katniss. He must be telling Katniss now. About the Capitol's hate for her. I take to the stairs that lead up to the Catwalk above. I'm hoping this will be the place for the photos. I scope the place out and make sure the lighting is okay by taking a few shots of the scenary.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I have decided I'm right it is the place for me to shoot. The ceremony starts as Caesar walks on stage. The crowd bursts into cheers at his smiling face. I must admit I liked Caesar. Whether he knew it or not every year he helped the Tributes. He gave them a fighting chance. I would always love Caesar for giving me a fighting chance.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then the prep teams rise from the stage and from the angle I am at it is almost looking straight down at them but I still manage a few good pictures.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Effie is up next and I have a slightly better view of her because of how the stage is made, the whole thing steps leading to the new victors. I take more picture of Effie my promise to let her have one still fresh on my mind. I can tell even from above what a big moment this is for Effie.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then Cinna and Portia, who I haven't talked with yet, rise above to the stage and Portia waves to the crowd with a smile but Cinna stands still looking like the epitome of cool. The crowd goes crazy for them. There fashion had of course changed the games. I make sure to get photos of them as well. Despite knowing it only really mattered if I got pictures of Katniss and Peeta.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch rose next and the audience all stomped their feet in harmony. I can feel their stomping in my chest where it echoes about. I watch Haymitch give a small smile and a nod to the crowd. I take pictures the whole time. I admit that I probably had more pictures of him then I would ever need.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then it's Katniss and Peeta rising together. The crowd is going absolutely beserk and it's making it hard for me to hear. I began taking rapid fire shots after that. Katniss sees Peeta and without fail throws herself onto him. They are held tight to each other and kissing. They must be kissing for ten minutes before Caesar tries to pull them apart. Peeta pushes Caesar away and they continue making out as the crowd dies in front of them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch rolls his eyes and pushes the two of them onto a red plush love seat. I'm slightly envious of the love seat because I remember my chair being very straight and fancy looking and nowhere near as plush and comfortable. Katniss has one glance at Haymitch and pulls herself towards Peeta with Peeta wrapping his arm around her so that they look very romantic. I zoom in on that. Then I leave the catwalk to get closer.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Watching the game is hard for everyone but seems somehow easier when there are two people sharing the pain. Wether it is actually better is unknown to me but I get lots of good pics.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The ceremony ends quick enough and I find myself being brought to the party Snow has after the games. I realize I haven't worn the clothes for a party but Effie covers for me and makes me look cool but classy in what I am wearing. I spend the party cozying up with sponsors knowing that they will hold whoever is in the quarter quell next years fate.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We head back to floor 12 after that and I'm so tired and it was so much that I immediately crash into sleep. I wake up only to take pictures of the private interview with Caesar then I am asleep again. My body was compensating for the loss of sleep during the games. Someone must have carried me and my stuff to the train because when I wake up again I am there. Haymitch stands by.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's time for dinner. You've been asleep for a while; you'll need some food," Haymitch says. I nod slowly and we walk together to get food. I slowly slide my hand into his and neither of us say anything.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Katniss, Peeta, and Effie are all eating and I sit down in between Katniss and Haymitch. I mostly get the cheesy potatoes and decadent desserts and fancy meats. Just like with my nightmares I do better eating around someone I trust near me.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The train pulls to a small stop where everyone can get fresh air. I run to get my camera from Haymitch's room well everyone else walks around outside. I walk back outside to see Peeta storm away from Katniss. Katniss glares at Haymitch before walking inside. I hear the sound of Peeta's lock being turned on his door.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Haymitch. Abernathy. What. Did. You. Do?" I ask him clearly. He groans.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I think I just revealed that Katniss doesn't actually love Peeta to Peeta," Haymitch says before swearing.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"My job will definitely be harder now." I groan. Haymitch manages an apology as I walk inside. How would the return to 12 be now?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tam knocks loudly on Buck's door before entering. He walks around the house slowly looking for Buck, who we find in the dining room. He sits silently and stares at the wall ahead of him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Buck I want to introduce you to a new Victor her name is Red," Tam says lightly. Buck doesn't react he just stares off into the distance. He has black hair and a handsome face but his eyes look so blank that it puts off a creepy look.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tam gives me a look as if to tell me 'come on say hi.' So I walk closer and smile.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hi Buck. I'm Red. I'm your new neighbor," I say. My voice sounds very loud in the house but that's okay.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"It's alright if you don't feel like talking today. But Red is a very nice lady. She's going to be a friend." Chaff says.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hi Red," Buck says and I have to stop myself from jumping. I didn't know Buck could even talk. Yet Tam smiles approvingly and I hope to make the best of it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hey Buck," I reply back. Buck looks at me for a minute then returns to his spot on the wall.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"We'll come by again soon. Okay Buck?" Tam asks. Buck gives the smallest nod of comprehension. Tam and I walk outside back towards my house.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Some days are better than others. This was one of his better days," Tam says sadly. After that we don't talk about it. However I now knew that Buck wasn't completely lost. Which gave me a little hope. I claimed my bedroom before my family came back. It was the second largest one that has a big window overlooking the garden below. You could see almost all of 10 from the window.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"I'm going to head back home. I assume your family would like dinner with you," Tam says. I nod. They definitely would but I didn't want Tam to leave. "I live next door call if you need anything."</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I would definitely call him soon. My family got back and my mom made me dinner and it was just like old times except we were in a giant house and we had more than enough food and my family would be killed soon.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I hate the games. I hate myself. But most of all I hated President Snow.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p3">
  <span class="s1">◼️◾️◼️</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I take pictures of Katniss and Peeta when they return to 12. It's a joyous meeting. Or it looks that way but I see the way all the seam kids are nothing but bones. The haunted look in the faces of old men and women. How Katniss's dad is not here and never will be. How Peeta avoids his mother and brothers only really greeting his father.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">I see all of this. It's like a flower growing in a crack of asphalt. It shouldn't be alive but it continues to grow and blossoms occasionally creating people like Katniss. District 12 was not beautiful like 4 or as close knit as 11. But 12 was without doubt the survivors.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Where are you going to stay?" Haymitch asks me as we arrive at 12's Victor Village. It's hardly even a real question. Of course I would stay with Haymitch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You got room for me?" I ask with a smile. He grins and we drag my stuff towards his house.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Always," he whispers so quietly that I think it might be the wind or my own hope.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We drag my stuff into one of the untouched guest rooms. But I put my actual necessities in Haymitch's room.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">We're sitting on the kitchen counter closer than normal people sit. Both of us have a bottle in our hands and I want to turn and bridge the gap between us. But I'm not that drunk.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Can you feel it?" I ask instead. Haymitch looks slightly confused.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Feel what?"</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Change. Everything is going to change." I state.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Haymitch looks around the kitchen and my eyes follow him. The strong nose, the tired eyes, the messy hair, the scruffy chin; it's all him. I loved every inch. Brave, handsome, and courageous Haymitch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Hopefully it'll change for the best," he says eventually. I nod slowly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hopefully the Quarter Quell will be okay. Hopefully Snow will be taken down. Hopefully my friends would stay safe. Hopefully I'd get up the guts to talk to Haymitch. Or kiss him. Hopefully change would be good.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But hope wasn't much to go off of.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes, there is a second book that I'm almost done with but I will probably not post it until it is done. </p>
<p>Thanks again.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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